Out of and Into Love
by Catalina Luna Moon
Summary: How much more can Shuichi take? Will Tohma win? Will Yuki drive him away? Who will catch Shu when he starts to run with his feelings? (Takes place in time frame after manga left off.) Edited for easier reading. Has hurt/comfort and leads into romance. Chapter 3 and 15 have been edited so that the song lyrics are in japanese with the english translation below.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own any of Gravitation: all I own is this little work of fiction. Thank you to bakayaro onna and to my sister for their help on this.

Out of and into love

Chapter 1

Yuki growled at the noise in the other room. The damn brat was being so noisy! Coming out of his office, he shouted. "Brat! Keep it down out here before I lock you out again!" The noise continued. Walking into the living room, Yuki prepared to give the ultimatum one final time. "Oi! Bra...Tohma, what are you doing here?" He stood face to face with Seguchi Tohma and was that his brat being bent backwards in a backbreaker? "What do you want, Tohma?" Yuki said coldly.

"Eiri! I was just reminding Shindou-san of what was said at our meeting at work. Didn't mean to disturb your work." Seguchi said with his mysterious smile. "Shindou-san, remember what I said." Yuki glared at the two men then turned to go back to his office.

"OUT NOW! That means you too brat!"

"Yuki! Yuki, gomen, I didn't mean to be so loud. Please, Yuki!"

"OUT!"

"Ok, Yuki", Shuichi said, tears falling down his cheeks. He put on his shoes and grabbed his jacket. Then he went out the door. "At least, he let me get dressed first this time." He didn't see the smirk on Seguchi's face as he left.

"You still here?" Yuki said to Seguchi in a voice that could freeze an ocean.

"I'm going, Eiri. Just one thing, how is the ulcer?"

"It is fine, now go!" Yuki said before slamming his door. Seguchi Tohma walked out the door with his evil smile on his face.

"Let's hope Shindou-san gets the hint" he muttered. Unknown to him, a pair of sapphire eyes watched him, glinting in the moonlight.

Ryuichi watched Shuichi walk away in the direction of Hiro's house. He knew nearly his every move by this point. Ryuichi thought, "I should have gone after him and offered to let him stay with me but he didn't know I was back from America." He tugged on Kuma's ear to keep his thoughts sorted. "Tohma was there. I know he was trying to make Shu stay away from Yuki-san, and to be honest, I was glad. He is my Shuichi. That damn Yuki keeps making him cry and it pisses me off to no end. Part of me wants to drive my fist into his face for all the tears I have seen Shu cry but Kuma...oh sly smart Kuma. He reminds me that isn't the way to win over Shu. Right now, I need to be more concerned with what my oldest friend has in store for the one I love. I can't let Tohma hurt him. Still hidden from view, Ryuichi watched as Tohma took out his phone and called for his car.

Shuichi walked to Hiro's house and knock on the door. When the door opened, Hiroshi rubbing his eyes, Shuichi said to him "Gomen for the late hour."

"Again? Why this time?" Hiro said as he let Shuichi in.

"Tohma came to our place tonight. To REMIND me of my place in HIS world. He wants me out of Yuki's life and damn near broke me in two to get his point across. Yuki heard me trying to get away from Seguchi and tossed us both out. At least it wasn't just me this time" Shuichi said with a smirk. Hiro looked like he wanted to say something but decided against it. He, instead, reminded Shuichi where he keeps his spare pillow and blanket.

"Crash here tonight if you want. I'm sure he will be over it in the morning. Then after work, why don't you go talk to him."

Shuichi thought "I will crash here but I think it is time to think things over. Although everyone thinks I'm just a baka, I know that I am capable of serious things. Do I hide behind a kiddie mask or is it real? I do not know but one thing I do know is this. I love Yuki but I am almost at my breaking point. Should I go back and forgive him, AGAIN or should I just go. If only Sakuma-san wasn't in America, I could talk about it with him. (Maybe, if he doesn't have his scary look going. That look is soooooo intimidating.) He, at least, is a neutral party. Now that he has Tats, he stopped saying that he wants me. Although, it was a little awkward there for a bit." With that, Shuichi got ready for bed.

A/N: Reviews are always wanted. Please don't fry me too bad as this is my first fan fiction. I will not hold this story hostage for reviews either.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Shuichi woke the next morning, on Hiro's couch and stretched. Grateful, he had a day off, he went and got dressed. While he ate some cereal, thoughts and memories flew around his head. There were a few good memories in there but most were negative. "Baka this, brat that, you are so annoying, I can't stand the sound of your voice." All these bounced around his head until he lost his appetite. He got up and dumped out the mostly full bowl of mush. Shuichi let out a growl as he dropped the bowl in the dishwasher.

"Hey Shu, Hiro muttered sleepily. "What's with the growling at," he glanced at the clock. "At 7:30 in the morning? Hell why are you even up?" Shuichi jumped up and ran for his spare notebook that he always kept here.

"I have some lyrics to write." was all he said. Hiroshi watched his best friend bounce onto the couch and start writing furiously. After about an hour, Shuichi set down the notebook and pen. "This is my answer. I don't know what I will do after but it is time." The phone rang, jarring him out of his thoughts. Hiroshi picked up the phone as he came in from checking on his motorcycle.

"Moshi moshi? What do you want, Yuki-san?" he said coldly. At that Shuichi motioned that he didn't want to talk and that he wasn't even there. Hiroshi understood. "No, he isn't here anymore. I let him crash for the night but he was gone by the time I woke up. Hai, I will tell him you called but he does have his cell with him. Oh you tried that already. Gomen, but he didn't leave a no...Asshole hung up on me"

"Arigatou, Hiro. I know I have to talk to him but I want to put the lyrics into a song first. Do you think that Suguru would mind doing a little work today?" Hiroshi looked at his friend with astonishment. Work? On a day off?

"Shu? Are you feeling ok?" He leaned over and placed his hand on Shuichi's head. "You don't seem to be running a fever..."

"I'm fine. I think I finally made a serious decision." was all that Shuichi said. He went and grabbed his phone. Turning it on, he saw 6 missed calls from Yuki. Ignoring them, he sent a text to Suguru. "Can you call Hiro's house for a minute?" 10 minutes later, the phone rang again. It was Suguru.

"What do you want?"

"I wanted to ask if we could put some tunes to some lyrics I wrote this morning. It is kind of important."

"Are you kidding me? On our day off? Can't get you to work at the studio but..." Suguru started going off but was interrupted by Shuichi.

"This may make my work better after we do this. I wouldn't bother you if it wasn't important."

"Fine, when do you want to do this? I can be at the studio in an hour. No messing around though, I mean it!" With that he hung up. Shuichi looked at Hiroshi and grinned his million-watt smile.

Three hours later, much to an amazed Suguru and Hiroshi, they had a perfect single done. "We can show it to Seguchi-san tomorrow." said Suguru. They parted ways and Shuichi headed to his park. As he sat on the bench, lost in his thoughts, a figure came up behind him.

"Brat! Where were you?" Yuki said with his icy voice. It sounded a little slurred. He had been drinking again. Shuichi looked at him and sighed.

"Yuki, I had things that I needed to do. I do have a life, you know."

"You? Have a life? Ha! Come on." Yuki grabbed Shuichi's wrist and dragged him all the way to the condo. "I want my 'hole' now!" Shuichi struggled against the pulling on his sore wrist.

"Is that all I am? After giving you all my love, is that all I am to you?" Shuichi managed to pull his wrist away from the drunk but stunned older man. Shuichi never showed this much back bone against him and it caught him off guard. Yuki never answered Shuichi, just walked away to grab another beer and cigarette. Knowing he was not going to get an answer, Shuichi grabbed his portable cd player, a couple of cds and a change of clothes. He then stuffed them into a bag. "I will be out again tonight. Do NOT call me. I need some space." he shouted in the direction Yuki was as he walked out the door. Pulling out his phone, Shuichi dialed a number. "Hiro? Can I crash at your place again?" Never noticing a car driving slowly past him, Shuichi walked in the direction of his best friend's place. Ryuichi was sitting in the car. "Wow! Does he look pissed! Ah, Yuki, you did it again didn't you. Took away his shine again." he said as he sat playing with Kuma He thought back to a month ago when he last saw Tatsuha.

The idiot looked stunned and lost. Ryuichi had just yelled out Shu's name when he was enjoying some rather fun exploits with Tat. He may be good in bed but he isn't the one that Ryuichi wanted. He saw the look on Tatsuha's face and realized what he just did. He pulled away from Ryuichi and asked him "Why?" Unfortunately for him, Ryucih was in serious mode.

"Why? You were just a temporary replacement. You wanted me and I decided to play for a bit while I let Shu stew awhile. To be honest, you're obsession with me is just a little creepy."

"And what of you're obsession with my brother's lover? You don't find that creepy at all?" Tatsuha responded, sounding a little pissy. Ryuichi decided to soften his words a bit. After all, he didn't hate the kid, just really didn't want to play games anymore.

"No, it is more than obsession. It is something you wouldn't understand. Look, I know you think you love me but we don't really have anything in common, other then a few mutual friends. All you think about is sex. I feel more than just physical desire for Shu. He completes me. When I first saw him on that stage when he froze, I felt a compulsion, a realigning of stars if you will. I can't turn away from that anymore. I did not mean to hurt you but I can't do this anymore. If you want, you can keep this place. I am planning my trip back to Japan and my Shu."

Now, Ryuichi followed Shu around, waiting for his chance. Only Tohma and K knew he was coming back but no one else. No need to spoil the surprise.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own Gravitation

Chapter 3

The next morning, Hiroshi and Shuichi were the first ones at the studio. K walked in, greeted Hiroshi and gapped at the sight of Shuichi sitting on the floor writing. Looking at Hiroshi in stunned amazement, K said, "What brought this on? I didn't even get to play with my 'baby'" With these words, K brought out his gun. Shuichi just looked up at the blonde and smiled.

"Would it be possible for Bad Luck to meet with Seguchi-san today? We would like for him to hear our newest song.." Shuichi said. K looked at him for a moment down the barrel of the gun then put it away.

"I will talk to Sakano and see what he says" At this point, Suguru entered. "OK! Time for work now." K boomed out. The three young men get into their respective places and began working on recording their album. K watched Shuichi with a little bit of suspicion as the vocalist jumped right into singing his little heart out. "I wonder what is going on...First, Shuichi is early and now he is requesting to see Seguchi"

Later that day, Sakano tells the group that Seguchi would see them. Shuichi picks up the demo. They walk into Seguchi's office. Once again, he wears that creepy smile of his. "So," he says. "Why did you want to meet with me?" He looked at the group waiting for an answer.

"We have a new demo we want to have you listen to. It has a different sound than we normally have but we figured it was time to branch out a bit. We want your opinion." Hiroshi spoke when Shuichi didn't say anything. Shuichi walked over to the stereo that was set up in the office, put in the tape and pushed play. He sat back down in his chair as the heavier sound came through the speakers. Then a voice that was Shuichi's but not at the same time came out. Seguichi's eyes widened at the husky, raw emotion he heard.

_Anata wa itsu watashinokoto o mimasu ka _  
_Anata wa nani ga miemasu ka? _  
_Oshietekudasai, anata wa nani o mite imasu ka? _

_Shiawasena, kōtaku ga aru, akarui? _  
_Soretomo, motto mite imasu ka? _  
_Anata wa, hyōmen no shita ni sanshō shite imasu ka?_

_Kanjō wa subete rasshu! _  
_Sōzōshī, kudakeru nami _  
_Ikari, itami, kanashimi!_

_Anata wa itsu watashinokoto o mimasu ka _  
_Anata wa nani ga miemasu ka? _  
_Oshietekudasai, anata wa nani o mite imasu ka?_

_Ai to itami no go-te to te _  
_Tada ureshī yara hazukashī yōna. _  
_Anata no kokoro no yabure o kanjiru _  
_Anata wa honō o sakebitaku naru! _  
_Kurai, kowai, ikatteiru _  
_Tsuika suru koto wa aru ka?_

_Anata wa itsu watashinokoto o mimasu ka _  
_Anata wa nani ga miemasu ka? _  
_Oshietekudasai, anata wa nani o mite imasu ka? _

_Anata wa itsu watashinokoto o mimasu ka _  
_Anata wa nani ga miemasu ka? _  
_Oshietekudasai, anata wa nani o mite imasu ka?_

_Naze arashi no owaride wa nai nodarou ka? _  
_Korera no subete no kanjō _  
_Watashi no nōnai de bakuhatsu o kurasshu! _  
_Kuso ̄ ! Betsu no bakuhatsu. _  
_Soko ni watashi no nō to itami ga iku! _

_Anata wa itsu watashinokoto o mimasu ka _  
_Anata wa nani ga miemasu ka? _  
_Watashi ni anata ga nani o mite imasu ka oshietekudasai?_

As the final guitar riff ended, Shuichi got up and walked over to the stereo and pushed 'Stop'. "So, what do you think, Seguchi-san?" Shuichi said, a trace of bitterness tinging his voice. Seguchi had a stunned look on his face. He shook his head to clear it and resumed his normal expression.

"Well. I have to say that this is definitely a different sound. I like it. Maybe, you should do a couple more like that. Just think about it. Is there anything else?"

"No."

"Then you are dismissed for the day. Shindou-san, a moment more of your time if you please." Suguru and Hiroshi stood out and walked out the door. Shuichi stood in place staring at his boss. "Shindou-san, that is definitely something different that I did not expect out of you. May I ask, what brought this on?"

"Frankly, sir" and this was said a bit tersely. "It is none of your business. Now if you are finished, I would like to go get some supper. I will be on time tomorrow." He turned on his heel and stalked out the door. Seguchi sat for a minute then went and removed the tape. Looking at it, he came to a decision. Grabbing his coat, he walked out the door.

a/n The song is one I made up...hope you like. I used google translate so it may be off a bit but the english translation is below.

When you look at me

What do you see?

Tell me, what do you see?

Bright, shiny, happy?

Or do you see more?

Do you see below the surface?

Emotions all a rush!

Tumultuous, crashing waves

Anger, Pain, Sadness!

When you look at me

What do you see?

Tell me, what do you see?

Love and pain go hand and hand

Just like joy and shame.

Feeling your heart breaking

Makes you want to scream flames!

Dark, Scary, Angry

Is there more?

When you look at me

What do you see?

Tell me, what do you see?

When you look at me

What do you see?

Tell me, what do you see?

Why won't the storm end?

All these feelings

Crashing explosions in my brain!

Damn! Another explosion.

There goes my brain and the pain!

When you look at me

What do you see?

Tell me what do you see?


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: Still do not own.

Chapter 4

Knock! Knock! Knock! Knock! That is what Yuki heard when he came out of his office. "Now who the hell could it be? Shuichi already called and said he was staying with Hiroshi again." He walked to the door. Upon opening it, he nearly slammed it shut again. Last person he wanted to see was on the other side. "Tohma!" he hissed as if it were a curse word.

"Hello Eiri." Seguchi said with a smile. "May I come in? I want to talk to you about Shindou-san" Yuki rolled his eyes, turned and walked into the living room. Seguchi followed serenely. When they had sat down, Seguchi spoke again. "Do you know what is going on with Shindou-san? He has been acting very different than his usual self today."

"The brat and I had a disagreement the other night. Has he been crying and moping around again?"

"I want you to hear this and maybe you can help me figure out what is going on." Seguchi walked over to the sound system and put in the cassette. After pushing play, he leaned back against the window. Yuki calmly pulled out a cigarette and lit it as the music started. However, when Shuichi's voice began, the cigarette fell out of his mouth as his jaw dropped. The voice was sexy, sultry yet very full of harsh emotions. He had never heard this side of his lover. He really enjoyed it but something in the undertone bothered him. Pulling himself together, he spoke in a cool tone to his brother-in-law.

"I can't help you. Now get out so I can get back to work!" With that he turned to his office. Seguchi rewound the tape, put it in his pocket and left. After calling K to tell him to get the tape from him the next morning, Seguchi got in his car and went home. Yuki sat in his office, blankly staring at his computer screen. The thoughts that were racing through his brain had to do with his book and everything to do with what he had heard.

"Is that song directed at me?" Thinking back over the past few days, he ended up remembering their last face to face confrontation. Shuichi's words and expression came rushing back to him. " 'Is that all I am? After giving you all my love, is that all I am to you?' Shit! The kid is ready to break. I cannot keep doing this to him." He looked up K's number and dialed. When K answered gruffly, Yuki asked "What is Sakuma's number? I need to speak to him." K looked at the phone suspiciously but gave Yuki the number anyway. Yuki hung up and dialed the number. Ryuichi recognized the number and ignored it. Yuki growled as the voice mail picked up. Not leaving a message, he called Seguchi. "Tohma, can you call Sakuma and tell him I need to speak with him. Tell him I have something he needs to know." Before Seguchi could respond, the call was ended.

Over at Hiroshi's house, Shuichi and Hiroshi were sitting down to a pizza pie. "What do you really think the boss thought of it? Also, much as I love to have you here, you do have to deal with Yuki. What are you going to do about him? " Hiroshi asked. Shuichi shrugged his shoulders as he inhaled his pizza slice.

"Dunno. Don't much care either. As for Yuki, I think it is time for me to move out and get some space from him. I love him but the coldness is getting to be too much. It feels like all I am is a hole to him. I feel like I am about to break into millions of little pieces from the ice he has coated me in." Shuichi reached for another slice of pizza, effectively ending the conversation. Hiroshi let it go for the time being and suggested they watch a movie before crashing for the night.

In an apartment across the city, Sleepless Beauty rang out. "Moshi moshi, Tohma. This is Kuma speaking (giggle giggle)".

"Can I speak with Ryuichi please, Kuma." was Seguchi's response. Ryuichi was hiding behind the bunny

again for some reason that he himself could not fathom.

"Na no da! Why does Tohma want to speak with Ryu-chan?" Ryuichi said. Tohma hadn't been very pleased that he was back. Luckily, he wasn't aware of what he had been doing. Tohma cleared his voice and decided to just come out with it.

"Eiri says he needs to talk to you. Said he had some information for you. What, I do not know but for him to actually ask me to call means it must be important. Will you call him?" Ryuichi looked at the phone for a moment as if it had turned into a snake that might turn vicious. Why would Yuki want to speak with him?

"I don't want to talk to that meanie! He always takes away any thing that is shiny! Wahhhh!" Tohma pulled the phone away from his ear as Ryuichi started the waterworks up. Shaking his head, placed the phone on his home desk on speaker.

"I understand that Ryu but is it possible that it could have to do with Shindou-san?" Abruptly, the waterworks stopped, leaving behind a deafening silence. "Ryu? Are you still there?"

"I am here" came Ryuichi's serious voice came. "Why would he call me about Shuichi? You would have told me if he were hurt or something" he said out loud. Thinking to himself, "I would have seen if he had been hurt. I know he is over at Hiro-kun's watching a movie."

"To be honest, Ryuichi, I do not know," and that grated on his nerves. "Look, please just call him. If he is mean, we will deal with it, ok? I have to go now, but you have a good night." With that, he hung up the phone. Debating with Kuma for a minute, Ryuichi decided to call. Putting on his chibi facade, he dialed the number.

"Na no da! Tohma said you wanted to talk to me?"

Yuki looked at the phone and sighed. "I have to do this for Shu" he thought. "Do you still want him?" he

said, not bothering to elaborate on who. He knew Sakuma knew who he was talking about. "Well?" Ryuichi paused a moment before deciding to answer. That tone meant business. Did Yuki know he was back? Deciding it was time to be serious, he replied.

"Yes. I still love Shuichi. Why do you ask?"

"Can you come to Japan?"

"Depends. WHY?" Ryuichi was starting to get a bit perturbed and a little nervous at the same time. Why did Yuki want to know that?

"You will get your chance." Letting go of his icy demeanor for a moment, he said, "I'm going to go away. I don't want to break him. He is too close to breaking right now."

"I am already here in Tokyo. What makes you say all this?" Ryuichi said, genuinely puzzled. "I thought you wanted him well away from me."

"I did and do but..." here he took a moment. Taking a calming breath, he continued. "You would be better for him. Ask Tohma to hear Shuichi's new demo. Listen to it and then call me back. Preferably, without ripping my throat out in the process." Yuki hung up the phone. He decided it was time to finish the last two chapters of his book. He knew Ryuichi would call Tohma immediately because it had to do with Shu. If anyone could give Shuichi the love he deserved, it was Sakuma.

a/n: Thank you for the reviews. Always appreciate response.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Ring! Ring! Ring! Ring! The phone in Tohma's office began to ring. He picked it up and before he could even say a word, Ryuichi's voice came through the phone. "Tohma. I need to hear Shu's new demo." It was said with a flat, serious tone. Tohma pulled the phone from his ear and just stared at it for a moment. Then, he seemed to collect himself again.

"What do you know about it? Why the serious tone? What bro.." He was cut off by Ryuichi speaking again.

"I spoke with Eiri. He told me to listen to it then call him back. He also asked me if I still love Shu. Point blank. No warning, just asked flat out. Now, I want to know why. That is why I need to hear the tape, Tohma." Ryuichi had never sounded so serious. Not even when he was singing. It made Tohma a little nervous to not know what was going through his friend's mind. If he was in front of him, there would be no mistaking what was going through his transparent friend's mind.

"Come to my place and I will play it for you." Tohma said. That way he could gauge the trouble being started. Knowing Ryuichi was like tending a wounded lion. You never knew when they would snap.

"No. I need to hear it alone. I will find a way to do so. It would just be easier if you allowed it yourself." Ryuichi was starting to get impatient. Tohma may be a good friend but he could also be a hindrance. The silence from the other end was frustrating as well. "Never mind. Bye!" With that the line was dead. Ryuichi called K. Using his innocent voice, he convinced K that he needed to hear the tape. K was bringing the tape to him.

K handed Ryuichi the tape, making him promise to not damage it and to give it right back to him. "Yeah, yeah! Go away already" Ryuichi thought. However, he just kept up the innocent facade until K left. Yuki had sounded really odd on the phone. He was never that open with anyone, especially to Ryuichi. Something to do with Shu...hmmm. Ryuichi put the tape in his sound system and pushed play. His first thoughts on the sound were that it was way different than Shuichi's normal sound. This did not bode well. He grabbed Kuma so that he was less likely to blow his top. Being well aware of his temper and the effects it can have when allowed free reign, it was a wise choice. Then Shu's voice started. "Oh my god! Is that really him singing? It sounds so...so angry! Not just angry, hurt. Ryuichi makes himself stop thinking and just listen to it. When the song ends, he was shaking. He got up, rewound the tape and again he listened. As he listened, he thought, "I need to get a feel for it. Then I can begin to sort this all out. Yuki, Shu, Tohma, me." Most evident in the song was the pain. To hear it, without knowing who it was about, was hard enough but to know, personally, the players involved. It damn near ripped Ryuichi's heart out. Playing it again a couple of times, he begin to sort out the other emotions in the words. Then he started getting royally pissed. The anger, frustration, agony. That bastard was right. Shu WAS about to break! "Part of me wants to go over to Yuki's place, lay him out and beat the piss out of him! Now, Ryu, remember he had called you." He breathed slow, deep breaths until he calmed down. "Now what do I do? I know Shu loves Yuki but he is also hurting too. I want to hold him until the pain stops. Time to make that call to Yuki." Keeping his grip on Kuma, he dialed Yuki's number. He picked up the phone on the first ring.

"Sakuma-san." he said, his voice very wary. Very understandable, given the current situation and Ryuichi's past. "What did you think of the tape?" Ryuichi reminded himself to stay calm but he knew he had to say how he really felt. Tightening his grip on Kuma, he began to speak.

"Honestly, I was pissed. I wanted to come over and pulverize you. Why? Why did you make him feel like this? What did you do? He is not supposed to be broken and bloody. Yet, that is exactly how he sounds. If he were any other person, he would have begun to hurt himself. He hasn't, has he?" Ryuichi asked, suddenly fearful.

"No he hasn't. Nakano-san has been keeping a close eye on him. Not that he tells me anything, but..." His voice trails off into a whisper. "I know if something like that were to happen, I would find my door busted open by Nakano-san. As to why? I haven't exactly been verbose about my feelings with Shu. I do love him but I can't say it. You also know of my tendency to be distant and cold. He is such a passionate person that he needs to feel it, to hear it. I do not want him to hurt anymore. That is why I tried so hard before to get rid of him. I know I am a thoughtless, cold bastard. You don't have to say what you are thinking. I know I haven't treated him right." Stunned, Ryuichi thought, "Wow! He has never spoken so much or honestly with me." He found his temper dropping a little bit.

"So...why did you call me? You know my feelings for him and for you, for that matter." Ryuichi makes himself get to the matter at hand. "What do you want from me?" Ryuichi heard him take a deep breathe before he speaks with a shuddering voice.

"I am going to let him go. I know if anyone can show him the love he deserves, it is you. Much as I hate," and here, his voice takes on a biting tone. "Much as I hate to give him up, I know it is the best thing for him." On the last part, his voice softened again. "If you love him as much as you say..." Ryuichi interrupted, getting a little heated again.

"You know he won't just come to me. He loves you, even when you are a bastard to him! All those times you threw him out, yelled at him and ignored him, he still loves you. How am I supposed to help you with this? He may think I am a god but you know better!" He stopped his tirade and breathes himself calm again. "What genius plan do you have? What makes you think he will go along with it all. Despite all his pain, and anger...yes i heard it all in his voice. Despite all that, he still loves you."

"I am going to go away. Go away and not even Tohma will find me. He will come home to an empty house and a letter. I will explain it in such a way that he should understand." I grit my teeth but the growl still escapes.

"A letter? A fucking letter? People say I am insane! All that will do is push him to try to find you!"

"No, Sakuma-san. It won't. However, much as I don't want it to happen, it may break him. I need you to help him pick up the pieces. Love him, cherish him, never push him away. If you do find that your love fades, be gentle with him about it. Be ready in two days." With that, Yuki hung up. Ryuichi stared at the phone in his hand, stunned. "Oh shit! Now what? Maybe, I should call Tohma. No, if he wanted Tohma involved, he would have called him. Not to mention, my friend would get too much pleasure from Shu-chan's pain. I will just have to sort this out on my own." Ryuichi rambled on to Kuma. After he made a copy of the demo, he called K, making sure to use his innocent voice again. Ryuichi tells K that he can have the tape back. After he leaves, Ryuichi began making plans. Plans that will either save Shu from himself and Yuki or break himself in the process. "God, I hope I can do this."

A/N: So here is the newest chapter. Hope you enjoy it everyone.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

The next day, Shuichi had a good day of recording. He had written a few more songs. They were still a bit edgy but were closer to his normal type. After stretching to work out a few kinks, he looked over at Hiroshi. "Hey, Hiro? I'm going to go home tonight. Maybe it is time to talk with Yuki." Hiroshi looked at him and shrugged his shoulders.

"Whatever. You know where I am if you need me." With that, Hiroshi packed up his guitar and walked out the door. Shuichi grabbed his notebook of songs and went out into the hallway. Immediately, he wished he hadn't. He walked right into Seguchi. Mumbling his apologies, he started to go around him and got blocked by an arm. He turned his eyes toward his boss in irritation.

"Is there anything I can do for you, sir." he said trying to hide his aggravation. "We finished for the day so I would like to leave." Seguchi looked at him for a moment with that weird smile of his.

"I would like to speak with you a minute, if you please. This is strictly professional, before you get your boxers all twisted." Seguchi added, reading the younger man's face. "This is in regards to your latest demo."

"What about it? All of Bad Luck was here earlier, why didn't you say something then?" Shuichi retorted, his temper rising a bit.

"It is in regards to you alone. That is why I chose to wait. Do you want to hear what I have to say or not?" When he finally got a nod, albeit an annoyed nod, he continued. "It sounded flat out pissed off. Do you think you will be able to carry that over into a concert? I know you were very angry when you wrote it. I am aware you feel it is none of my business what brought it on, and I will let that go. However, I need to know whether or not you will be able to carry it onward."

"Oh yes, Seguchi-san, I can carry it onward. I have enough reason to be able to." Shuichi hissed out. "Now, if you do not mind, I want to go." He ducked under the blocking arm before the older man could react. Once in the elevator, Shuichi dialed Yuki's phone. All he got was the voicemail. "Yuki, I am coming home. If you do not want me to please let me know before I get there." He was grateful that they had gotten out early enough that the sun hadn't set fully. As he was walking, a car pulled up beside him.

Ryuichi had decided to let Shuichi know that he was back in town. That way, when all went down, he wouldn't be surprised to see him. "Na no da! Shu-chan!" he called out the window. Shuichi stopped dead in his tracks and turned. There was his idol complete with Kuma atop his head.

"Sakuma-san! When did you get back? Is Tatsuha-kun with you?" He was peering through the window, trying to see if Tatsuha was with him. Ryuichi had to bite his tongue hard when Shuichi got so close to the window.

Thinking to himself, "Now is not the time. He finally is not acting all twitchy and nervous anymore." Aloud he said, "Tat-kun and I decided to take a break. He decided to stay over in America. Where are you going, Shu-chan? I was hoping we could hang out for a while." Shuichi looked at him for a moment, inwardly debating whether or not he should be nervous. He shrugged his shoulders and responded.

"I am going home. I need to talk to Yuki. Next time, we can hang out Sakuma-san."

"Ryu-chan! Call me Ryu-chan." Ryuichi said a little annoyed. "Aren't we friends?"

"Yes Sak...er Ryu-chan. It just has been a long while since I have seen you." Shuichi said. "I promise, I will spend time with you soon. Has your phone number changed?"

"No, Shu-chan. I still have the same number. If you need me or just want to hang out, give me a shout. I will come." This last part was said with his serious tone. Shuichi blinked and the moment was gone. Ryuichi had gone back into chibi mode. "See you soon, Shu-chan." With that, Ryuichi rolled up the window and the car pulled away. Shuichi walked the rest of the way to Yuki's condo.

When he got there, he pulled out his key. Entering, he gave a small sigh, and yelled, "YUUUKKKKIIII! I'm Hooooommmmeee." Then he realized that he did not hear any typing. "Yuki? Are you here?"

"Brat. I am in the kitchen." Yuki said. Shuichi walked into the kitchen and sat down. He didn't have the energy to glomp the man in front of him. There was still way too much tension between them to act as normal. "You are quiet. Usually, you are talking a mile a minute and making my head ring." Yuki turned and looked at the younger man. The expression on Shuichi's face was rare. If he had not heard the demo, Yuki would not have seen the flurry of emotion that was quickly hidden behind a mask of neutrality.

"Did you make your deadline?" Shuichi asked, a bit awkwardly. "That was why you kicked me out again, right?" Yuki stared at his lover for a moment then shrugged.

"I am not done yet, but, yes that was a big part of it. I still have 2 more days until the deadline." Yuki turned back to the stove and turned it off. Shuichi went to grab plates out of the cupboard and some silverware. After placing them on the counter, he went and sat back down. Yuki brought the pans over to the plates and dished out the stir-fry. He handed Shuichi his and then sat down with his. "So...talk. You have something on your mind. You are never this quiet."

"We can talk later." Shuichi said. He really did not know how he was going to broach the subject of the state of their relationship. He wanted, nay, needed to know where things stood between his lover and himself. It was getting really hard, getting slapped back down. He still loved the man but... Shuichi shook his head and started to eat. Yuki let it go for now. There would be plenty of time after dinner.

"Hey, Yuki," Shuichi said after they were done eating. "Um," Yuki looked at the younger male.

"What?"

"Where do we stand? I mean I love you but...er. Well, I need to know how you feel about me. Everything is starting to..." Shuichi trailed off. Yuki had walked out of the kitchen on him. "Yuki! I was talking to you." There was a distinct slam of a door and snick of a lock. Yuki had retreated to his office to type. Well, there went that conversation. Shuichi went into the bathroom to take a shower and get ready for bed.

Yuki heard Shuichi doing his night time ritual and buried his face in his hands. "I can not do this to him anymore" he groaned quietly. "I have to do this for him. That is how much I love Shu." He began to type on his computer. After comparing rates for airlines, trains and buses, he made a few calls. Tohma would not even be able to track him by the time he was done. That way, Shuichi would have a clean break. It was the only fair thing that he could give his lover.

Shuichi grabbed his portable cd player and his favorite Nittle Grasper cd. Laying down on the couch, he popped the earphones in and blasted the music loud enough that he could not think. He ended up dozing off, not realizing he had tears flowing down his face. Yuki came out and looked at him sleeping. He then picked Shuichi, and carried him, bridal style to their bed. One last night, that is all Yuki wanted. No sex, no talking, no yelling, just holding his lover one final time. He did not sleep at all that night. All he did was hold Shuichi and watch him sleep. When he saw the sun rising, Yuki got up out of the bed and went to his office once more. Shuichi slept on peacefully, blissfully unaware his life was about to be completely disrupted.

A/N Sorry it took a bit to update. I had minor writer's block. Thank you to Bakayaro and my sister for assistance with editing.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

While Shuichi slept, Ryuichi was unable to sleep. "Oh, Kuma. Now, how do we work this? Phase 1 is complete. We let Shu-chan know we are back. Of course, I nearly blew it by going serious. Thanks to you, I remembered to put the mask back on." He sat on his king size canopy bed, chewing on Kuma's ear. Yuki had sent him a text message saying that when the time came, he would send him a message to be ready. "I hope Shuichi does not break, at least not totally. We do not need Shu-chan doing something drastic, after all. Oh, that is a good idea Kuma! We will hide not far from the house. That way we will not be far. Let's make sure his room is ready." He bounded up off of the bed. There across the hallway, was the room he had set up for Shuichi. He would have preferred to have him in his room but one step at a time. This room had been decorated with Shu-chan in mind. All bright colors, with posters of Nittle Grasper (group and individual) and Bad Luck on the wall. He had even got a Kuma for him. That was placed on the king sized bed. There were smiley face-shaped pillows on top of goose-down pillows. There was a plush, shimmery bronze comforter. Ryuichi stepped up to the bed and rested his hand on the bed. He sighed, a mix of longing and sadness. His Shu was going to be hurting when he came here. It would be up to him to bring back the sparkle. Walking out of the room, Ryuichi gripped Kuma in a vise-like grip. "I really hope this works."

Shuichi woke before the alarm went off and to an empty bed. Yuki must have put him in the bed in the night sometime. He bounced up and headed to find his lover. From the office, he heard the klickty-klack of the laptop. He tried to turn the doorknob, only to find it locked. His head hung, Shuichi went to get ready for work. He sent a text to K, informing him that he was already on his way in. Before he walked out the door, he left a note for Yuki.

Yuki,

I went to work. I hope you have a good day with your writing. I love you.

Love,

Shuichi

Yuki heard the door close and came out of his office. He picked up the note and read it. Then, he crumpled into a heap, tears streaming from his face. "Shu, I love you. This is why I have to do this." After a while, he got up and began to pack what was needed. He would leave behind most everything, but he would take pictures of he and Shuichi, and a few physical memories. He had to do this. It became a mantra in his mind, making it so he would not change his mind. He reached into the kitchen cupboard and pulled out Shuichi's favorite mug. He wrapped this up with great care. By the time afternoon had rolled around, he was done packing. He looked around the condo one final time. Sighing, he walked out the door and locked a final time, having left a letter for Shuichi on their bed. His luggage was placed in the trunk of the car and he pulled out his cell phone. "It is time. Take care of him. Y." Ryuichi read the text and almost cried. Then, he too went out his door.

At the studio, things were a nightmare. K leveled his gun at Shuichi's head, Suguru yelled and Hiroshi strummed idly on his guitar. They all knew that Shu was useless when having trouble with Yuki. Finally, he set down his guitar, and walked over to Shuichi, carefully moving the gun away. "Did you and Yuki have another fight?" he asked Shuichi. Shuichi looked up at his best friend, eyes wet.

"No. He wouldn't even talk to me. Wahhhhh" and the waterworks began. Hiroshi hugged his friend, rubbing small circles on his back until the whimpers had subsided. Then he made Shuichi look him in the eye.

"Make him talk to you tonight. Do you want me to go with you?" Shuichi shook his head in the negative.

"I have to do this on my own. Once, we end the day, I will go straight home." He dried his tears. "I am ready to work now." They finally were able to get some work done. Three hours later, Shuichi was walking up to the door, not noticing Yuki's car missing. Turning the knob, he realized it was locked. "At least I remembered my key this time," he said. He stepped inside the silent house. "Yuki? Are you here?" he called. Hearing nothing, he walked into the bedroom. He saw the letter and picked it up. After reading it, he dropped to his knees and screamed! A scream of his agony!

Outside, Ryuichi sat watching. He didn't like the sight of his normally sparkly Shu looking so glum. "Its going to get worse, Kuma." All of a sudden, he heard Shuichi's scream. "Oh shit! Not good!" He came running into the condo, following the sound. He skidded to a stop at the bedroom door. Peering in, he saw Shuichi curled up in a ball, his screaming fading due to hoarseness. In his hand, there was clutched a piece of paper. "Shu-chan? It's me, Ryu-chan," he said as he got to his knees. As he reached out to touch the younger man, the poor man began shaking and trying to scream again. Ryuichi pulled his hand back for a moment then picked up Shuichi. He carried him out of the room and sat on the couch. "Shu-chan, talk to me." He began rubbing Shuichi's back in small circles, trying to calm him.

"Y-Y-Y-Yuki is gone!" Shuichi wailed. He thrust the paper in Ryuichi's face as he jumped up to move about the room. Ryuichi looked at the paper and blanched. No wonder why Yuki thought he would end up breaking Shu!

"Shuichi,

It is time for me to go. I have to be alone. I do NOT

want you to look for me. Leave me alone. It is time

for you to find new love. I can never love you as you

need. Don't bother asking Tohma, as he knows not

where I am going. Not even he will be able to find me.

Yuki

Ryuichi looked at the younger male who was prowling the room. Next thing he knew, there was a great smashing sound. Shuichi had picked up Yuki's ashtray and threw it into the television. "Shu! Calm down!" at this, he had to duck flying books.

"That DAMN YUKI!" Shuichi's voice had rose to piercing levels. "WHY! THAT BASTARD! AFTER ALL..." At this point, his voice dropped away as he collapsed on the floor in tears again. Ryuichi went over to him and held him again.

"Hush, Shu. Just calm down. If you do not calm yourself, you will end up hyperventilating. Listen to my breathing. Hear how calm and steady it is?" He kept on repeating himself until the younger male's breathing had slowed. Ryuichi looked down and saw that Shuichi had passed out. He stood and carried Shuichi out to his car. After closing the door, he got into the car and it pulled away. He looked down at the man that he loved and wanted to weep. He wanted Shu but was it worth the pain he saw? He tried to call Yuki and found that the number was disconnected. Ryuichi grabbed Kuma and squeezed him tightly before placing him in Shuichi's arms. "We are going home, my old friends."


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

When the car pulled up to Ryuichi's home, he hopped out. As he pulled out Shuichi, the younger man began to stir. "Nn...huh?" Ryuichi just held him tighter.

"Do not worry, Shu-chan. We are at my home. Do you..." his voice trailed off. Shuichi had fallen back asleep. Walking up the stairs as though he was carrying something priceless, Ryuichi looked at the man in his arms tenderly. Once inside, he brought Shuichi into the room he had prepared for him. He sat, down on the bed and lay Shuichi down. He went to grab some pjs so that the younger one would not have to sleep in the clothes he was currently wearing. Very carefully, Ryuichi undressed Shuichi, softly groaning. The sight of the one he loved nearly naked was very erotic and caused Ryuichi to end up semi-hard. He left Shuichi's undershirt and boxers on. He didn't want to cause anymore tension in himself, being as he was already wound up tighter than a top. Once he had Shuichi fully dressed, Ryuichi placed him under the blankets. He brushed hair away from the sleeping face, then he went to stand up. A tugging on his shirt stopped him dead in his track. Hesitantly, Ryuichi looked over his shoulder to see sparkle less violet eyes looking back at him.

"Please, do not leave me alone yet." came the barest whisper. "I...I...don't think I could handle it yet." Ryuichi sat back down, laying his hand on Shuichi's. For Shu, he could try to ignore the simmering fires coursing through his blood. Shuichi sat up slowly and looked around him, never letting go of Ryuichi's shirt. He had never seen this place before. "Where are we?" He looked down at what he was wearing. He was wearing pjs that were covered in multi-sized Kumagoros. Bringing his eyes back up to meet the older man's eyes, he saw conflicting emotions. "Ryu-chan? Are you ok?" This made Ryuichi realize he had dropped all masks.

Taking a deep breath, he responded to Shuichi. "This is my home. I bought this when I came back. Are you ok?" He didn't like how pale Shu was nor how much he was shaking. Rubbing his face down over his face, he said "I am not going to hurt you. I was nearby when you began screaming and it scared the hell out of me." All the adrenaline that had been helping him stay calm abruptly left him, causing him to start shaking himself. When Shuichi saw this, he crept closer to the older vocalist and wrapped his arms around him. He began making soothing sounds when Ryuichi began to cry. "I'm sorry, Shu. Here you are hurting and I am having a minor meltdown"

"I will be ok if you will be. I am sorry you nearly got hurt when I exploded. I just...I just could not...did not know how to handle that. I still don't." Ryuichi wiped his sapphire eyes and looked at the younger male. Shuichi was looking back at him, looking worried and pained. Ryuichi brought his arms up around Shuichi to hug him back.

"Are you hungry? I can get us some food. We do not have to talk of this right now if you don't want to. Your head must be pounding after all the crying. I will get you something for the pain." Ryuichi, fully back in control, said. Shuichi yawned widely, and shook his head. "Get some rest. I will be back in here in a little bit." He saw that Shuichi was already nodding off in his arms. He lay Shuichi back down and brought the blankets up to his chin. He placed a chaste kiss on his forehead and walked out the door. First thing, he had to do was call Tohma. There was no way Shu was going into work the next day. The phone picked up on the first ring.

"Ryu?" Seguchi said, hesitantly, unsure if it was Ryuichi or Kuma that was supposed to be on the other end.

"Tohma, it's me. I was calling to tell you that Shuichi will not be in tomorrow. He may not be there for a few days." Ryuichi said in his serious tone.

"What do you mean? Why are you calling for him? What have you done?" Seguchi nearly yelled in his ear.

Nearly snarling back at his friend, Ryuichi gave a brief rundown of what had happened. For once, Tohma was speechless. Eiri gone? Then he began to smirk He had won! "Before you get too excited," and this came out icily. "Before you get too excited, Yuki had planned this out so that not even you will be able to track him down." Here, Ryuichi let a little sneer tinge his voice. For once, he was feeling a bit vindictive toward his friend. Tohma got too much pleasure out of Shuichi's pain and that really irritated Ryuichi.

"I will be able to find him," Seguchi said after a moment, his voice neutral. At this, Ryuichi barked out a laugh.

"You are welcome to try. Leave Shu alone for a bit. He is in my care at the moment."

"How convenient for you" came the dry voice. "You planning on seducing him while he is broken? I didn't think you would stoop so low to get what you want!" The words sounded like dripping acid. Ryuichi had had enough.

"Do not push this issue, Tohma. I WILL protect Shu-chan, even from you." With that, the call was ended. Tohma looked at his phone and smirked. No one could outwit him, not even his brother-in-law. He began placing calls to contacts of his.

Ryuichi unclenched his fist and saw that his nails had caused bloody crescents in his palm. Sighing, he went and cleaned his hand before going to the kitchen to get some food ready. That way if Shu woke up again, he could eat. Just as he put a plate in the microwave, he heard Shuichi wail. Running back to the room, he saw Shuichi curled up in a ball on the bed, tears streaming down his face. "Oh Shu." he said as he crossed the room to the trembling figure. He sat down on the bed and pulled Shuichi into his lap. He began to rock the younger man.

"Am I so hard to deal with? Am I so unlovable?" Shuichi whimpered. At these words, Ryuichi placed his fingers under Shuichi's chin to tilt up his face toward him.

"Far from it, Shu-chan. You are the sweetest, kindest, most lovable person I know." Unthinking, he leaned down and placed a kiss on each cheek and on Shuichi's forehead with word he said. Shuichi's breath caught in his throat. As if his body had a will of it's own, Shuichi turned his head to place a kiss on Ryuichi's throat. A moan came out of Ryuichi as he leaned back. "I am sorry, Shu. I should not have done that. It is not wise for you to do that though. I still am in love with you. I do not want to do anything that we will regret later." He had placed Shuichi back on the bed by the end of the last word. Shuichi looked at him and tears started to fall again. "Please, Shu. Don't cry. What do you need that I can give you?"

Shuichi looked at Ryuichi for a moment. "Please just hold me. I need that comfort right now. I feel as if I am about to become slivers of glass on the floor." Ryuichi looked at Shuichi for a long moment.

"Lay down. You need rest. I will hold you for a bit." Shuichi complied but held up the blanket. "No Shu. I will stay on top of the covers. I..." Ryuichi looked away, shame tinting his face. "I do not trust myself to be honorable under the covers at the moment." Hearing a hiccupping chuckle, he turned back to Shuichi. Well that was a start! At least, Shu was trying to smile. Ryuichi smiled down at him. "Rest. I have already informed Tohma that you will not be going in tomorrow." At the mention of Tohma's name, Shuichi paled and then frowned.

"That bastard is probably laughing. He won and he knows it!" Ryuichi let out a dark laugh that stopped Shuichi in his rant. Why did he laugh?

"Yuki doesn't want to be found." When he saw the puzzled look on Shuichi's face, he sighed. He told Shuichi part of the conversation that he and Yuki had had. Shock, anger and sadness all flitted across Shuichi's face and he began to pull away from Ryuichi. Knowing what Shuichi was doing, Ryuichi pulled him close again. "Before you get mad about me knowing Yuki was planning on leaving, let me tell you one thing. Yuki called me. He and I both heard your demo and both wanted to protect you. He cared enough to know that he could not change. He knew you need more love than he can show. He" Shuichi had put his fingers on Ryuichi's lips, effectively silencing him.

"Are you saying that Yuki broke me because he cared? I don't understand. " His voice came out in hardly more than a whisper. Ryuichi's heart broke a bit at the sight. Shaking again, Shuichi leaned into Ryuichi. "What do I do now? I can't stay there. The memories," he broke off the tears starting again. Ryuichi pulled the younger man closer again.

"You can stay here. I won't pressure you. I will love you and protect you but I will never force you to love me back. Let me protect you, please." Ryuichi's voice had dropped by this point. Shuichi nodded his head. Ryuichi laid down on the bed and Shuichi placed his head on his idol/friend's chest. Tears still flowed out but his trembling had subsided. Ryuichi wrapped his arms around Shuichi and they drifted off to sleep.

Shuichi slept a dreamless sleep only the truly weary can sleep. Ryuichi, however, did not. His eyes flew open, his breath coming out in pants. Inwardly, he groaned. His pants were too tight! Sliding very carefully, so as to not wake Shuichi, Ryuichi slipped out of bed. He walked uncomfortably across the hall to his room. After closing his door, he began stripping out of his clothes. He headed into the master bathroom. Knowing that a cold shower was not going to help him, Ryuichi put the spray of water on so that the bathroom steamed up. He climbed in and let the water beat down on him. The dream crept back into his mind, causing his member to begin twitching.

A/N For the lemon/dream go to . ?no=3205. Sorry folks, I do not want to have this story deleted due to breaking of rules.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Ryuichi walked into Shuichi's room to see the younger man sitting up on the edge of the bed. He was rubbing his eyes, as though he had just woke up. "Hey, Shu-chan," Ryuichi said softly. Shuichi looked up at him and Ryuichi nearly hit the floor. Shuichi looked even sexier fresh from bed! He bit his tongue hard, the pain distracting him and slowing the erection that had begun anew. Shuichi cocked his head to the side and softly smiled.

"Hey Ryu-chan. Do you know what time it is? I couldn't see a clock in here."

"It is nearly 1 am. Are you ok?"

"I am holding...that is the best I can say for the moment." Shuichi's head lowered for a moment. Ryuichi walked over to him and sat down beside him. Shuichi leaned into him, so Ryuichi wrapped his arms around him in a hug. They sat that way for nearly a half hour until Shuichi's stomach began to growl. He blushed and sat back up straight. "Umm, I know it is late but..."

"Come with me, Shu-chan." He held out his hand to the younger vocalist, who without hesitation put his hand into it. Shuichi blushed again as Ryuichi smiled and led him out the door. "I had some food prepped for you earlier. All we have to do is heat it up." It felt a little odd, this closeness, but still so right. Ryuichi led the way to the kitchen and had Shuichi sit at the island. After punching a few buttons on the microwave, Ryuichi turned back to the younger man. "What do you want to drink? I have soda, tea, coffee, cocoa and energy drinks." His child-like nature came out then. "No zoom-zoom energy drinks tonight," a big grin on his face. Shuichi couldn't help himself, it was almost contagious, that happiness. He grinned back. "There is a bit of the sparkly that I love" Ryuichi giggled out. Then he covered his mouth, a look of shame covering his face.

Looking puzzled, Shuichi walked over to the other, who had turned around. "What's the matter, Ryu-chan?" Ryuichi would not look at him.

"I'm sorry Shu-chan. I told you I would not pressure you. It just popped..." his voice trailed off, as he felt arms wrap around his waist. He slowly turned around, almost afraid to look into those eyes. When he did, he saw no condemnation, no anger. He carefully returned the hug, burying his face in Shuichi's neck. All he could smell was strawberries. He started to back away again, when Shuichi tightened his grip.

"You have always been honest with me, Ryu. You aren't pressuring me. I know you love me and maybe..." his voice shook a bit before he continued. "Maybe, you can save me." Ryuichi backed away from Shuichi, a little puzzled, a little hurt.

"I want to be here for you but...but please, don't make me a rebound." Ryuichi whispered, as a tear trailed down his face. Shuichi looked shocked and then realized how it had sounded.

"I didn't mean like that Ryu. I have always cared about you. Remember, before we met, you were my idol. The one I wanted to become. Then, we became friends. A part of me already loves who you are. Please, don't pull away from me now," he said, starting to cry again. The microwave beeped, as he crumpled onto the floor weeping. Ignoring the microwave, Ryuichi knelt down and held the crying man.

"Shu, I am not going anywhere. Please, don't cry." He began rubbing Shuichi's back, and continued until the sobs let up. "Are you still hungry? The food should still be hot. I will make us some hot cocoa with those colorful marshmallows we both like,." Shuichi looked up at him, his face tear-streaked. He nodded and shakily got to his feet. After seeing that Shuichi was safely seated, Ryuichi went and grabbed the food. He placed it in front of Shuichi, then went to start the water. When the cocoa was ready, he turned back to see a famished Shuichi inhaling his food. Ryuichi couldn't help but laugh. "Breathe, Shu-chan, breathe. It isn't going to run away on you." At this, Shuichi stopped and then started giggling. They drank their cocoa and Ryuichi cleared away the dishes. He saw Shuichi nodding off in his seat. He placed his hand on Shuichi's lower back, breaking him away from his doze. "Why don't we get you back to bed, huh?"

"Yeah," Shuichi mumbled. "Will you stay with me? I feel calmer when you are there." Shuichi looked up at Ryuichi with honest eyes causing the older man's head to spin as blood rushed away. Ryuichi closed his for a moment, gaining control. Thankfully, he had already put on pajama bottoms.

"Sure, Shu-chan. Let me grab a shirt and we can go to sleep." At the puzzled look on Shuichi's face, Ryuichi sighed. "It might not be a good idea for me to sleep with my chest bare. It makes it...never mind," he cut himself off. Shuichi had already figured out the rest of the unspoken sentence. His eyes went wide and he blushed.

"I don't want to make you uncomfortable" he said. Ryuichi goggled at him for a moment, then just shook his head.

"I don't want to make things more uncomfortable for _you_, Shu. That is the main thing. Let's go to bed." When the two had made it almost to the bedroom, Shuichi stopped.

"I will be fine if you feel more comfortable with your shirt off. I have walked in on you before when you sleep. I know how you sleep," he finished with a blush. Again, Ryuichi gaped at him, then blushed himself. Shuichi took Ryuichi's hand and led him into the room. "Let's get some sleep. I do not want to think anymore tonight. Morning is soon enough." They climbed into bed and Shuichi promptly fell asleep. Ryuichi watched the sleeping man for a while then fell asleep himself.

Morning broke but without sun. A drizzling rain fell heavily. Shuichi rolled over and snuggled in deeper to the warmth beside him. Then his eyes popped open. He remembered the events of the past day and began to weep. Feeling wetness on his chest, Ryuichi woke. He looked down in surprise. He began to move away from the weeping man. "I'm sorry Shu. I must have pulled the blankets over me in my sleep. Please, don't be upset with me." Shuichi sniffled and shook his head. Then he pulled Ryuichi back to him.

"I'm not upset with you. I just remembered everything. Don't go away, please. I need you right now." Ryuichi understood that need and wrapped his arms around Shuichi. He stroked the younger one's head, saying nothing. He knew there was not really anything he could say, nothing to ease that broken heart. Finally, Shuichi sat up and wiped his eyes. "I'm sorry. I know this must be hard for you." Shuichi brought his eyes up to meet sapphire blue ones.

"No need to be sorry. I am glad that I am here and you are not alone dealing with this. My...uh...issues are of no matter right now." Ryuichi offered a comforting smile. "Do you want breakfast? I make a killer Kuma pancake." Shuichi let out a small laugh and nodded. Then he paused.

"Um...I do not have any of my stuff here. Can I borrow some of your clothes and can I take a shower?" Ryuichi got up and held out his hand.

"Sure. Come on, I will let you raid my special clothes closet." He gave Shuichi his trademark grin. Shuichi took the proffered hand and followed Ryuichi into his bedroom. Once in the room, Ryuichi closed the door and let go of Shuichi's hand. With a enormous "Whoop!", he darted across the room to a door. He pulled it open and gestured for Shuichi to enter. When Shuichi did, his jaw dropped in amazement at what he saw around him! He grinned at his friend and they went crazy pulling clothes off hangers.

Meanwhile, across town, "What do you mean 'the number is disconnected'? I called him earlier!" A disgruntled Tohma screamed at his phone, upon hearing the computer-generated voice for a sixth time. He flipped the phone closed and squeezed it. Debating the benefits of hurling it across the room and placing it calmly on his desk, he slowly regained control over his temper. Finally, placing the phone on the desk, he turned to his computer. "There are more than one way to track him." He accessed his email and found an email from Eiri. With a smirk on his face, he clicked it open to read it. However, before he was finished reading, the smirk was replaced with a frown, followed by a look that could only be described as Death warmed over. He pulled at his hair and wound up throwing his phone after all. The whole thing had gone way different than he had planned. "Why did I go to him with that damn demo? Certainly not because I cared for that idiot's welfare. I wanted him away from Eiri even if he was DEAD! Why did I go? OH YEAH! THAT'S RIGHT, HE IS MY CURRENT FUCKING MONEYMAKER!" By the end of this he was screaming. He looked back at the email and growled.

Tohma,

Yes, I have left Shuichi. No, not because you wanted me to, and you made it very clear what you wanted. You will not find me, you will not "win" as you think against Shuichi. I made this decision because I DO love Shu. DO NOT try to hurt him, though. It isn't me you would have to fear. One thing I learned of your friend, Ryuichi, he does not take well to someone hurting his "Sparkly." Friend or not, you would find yourself in a world of hurt. This is for the best for all involved. Have a miserable life, you asshole!

Eiri

Somewhere, in a rented car, under a false name, Yuki Eiri could almost hear his brother-in-law's reaction to the email and it made him smirk. The bastard would trace it and after being bounced all over hell and back, he would find it had been sent, on a delay, from his condo. At least that would keep him busy for a bit, and give Shuichi a breather. When his thoughts touched on his former lover, the smirk faded away. He was glad, in a way, that he had not been anywhere near when Shu found him gone. He never would have been able to go through with this. It was the best thing for him but that did not make it any easier. "Go back to thinking of Tohma and his wild goose chase," Yuki growled at himself. He did and that smirk came back. He had made a good plan and Tohma had no idea where the author would really end up.

Back at Ryuichi's place, Shuichi looked at himself in the mirror. "Ryuichi? What do you think?" Ryuichi was staring at the younger man, speechless. He suddenly shook his head, wiped the drool that had snuck out of his mouth off, and grinned.

"Like a fox, Shu-chan! Like a fox!" Shuichi giggled and blushed but then the look was gone. Ryuichi could see the sadness back in the violet eyes. He saw the sparkle fade and pain return. He went over just as Shuichi's knees buckled. The tears were flowing again, and Ryuichi hugged him. "Hush Shu. Kuma-chan and Ryu-chan are here for you." Shuichi shook with the force of his pain and tugged on his hair. Before he could manage to rip it out, Ryuichi had pulled his hands away from it and forced Shuichi to look at him. "NO hurting yourself. I know what you are feeling and I can not let you be destructive to yourself. Look at me!" Shuichi had pulled his eyes away and tried to yank away from the grip on his wrists. "Look at me, Shuichi," Ryuichi said in a softer voice. He got both wrists in one hand and made the younger vocalist look at him again. "I understand your pain. I know it feels like you are in agony. I know you are angry underneath it all. Take it out on me if you want to but never on yourself." He drew him back into an embrace. He rubbed Shuichi's back until silence replaced the sobs. "Feel better? Shu?" He pulled away a small amount and saw that Shuichi had cried himself back to sleep. He knew the exhaustion that came with those tears. After he had left Shuichi with Yuki, Ryuichi had cried those tears. He, however, had to cry them alone when Tatsuha was away from him. He hadn't wanted Tatsuha to realize the truth of their situation. Part of him wondered if Tatsuha was crying them himself, but he dismissed the thoughts. Tatsuha would realize he only thought he loved Ryuichi. In time, he would realize the 'love' was merely idolatry. Forgetting the other man, Ryuichi turned his attention back to his love in his arms. He picked up Shuichi and brought him to the bed in the room. After placing the sleeping man on the bed, Ryuichi went to grab some pjs. He changed Shuichi's clothes and placed him under the comforter. Seeing the pink-haired man there looked so right to Ryuichi. After placing a kiss on each of the slumbering eyes, he walked out of the room. Shuichi would need his things, and food when he woke again.

A/N I am hoping I haven't lost anyone along the way so far. Hope you enjoy.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Ryuichi went into Shuichi's room to grab the key to Yuki's condo. After that, he called K. "I need you to come with me to get Shu's stuff.." The manager replied back and Ryuichi nodded. "Yes, an hour is fine. I will be waiting outside." He peeked in at the sleeping singer and went to the kitchen to prep some food, in case Shuichi woke up. By the time it was finished cooking and placed in the microwave, it was nearly time for K to be there. He wrote Shuichi a note and placed it on the bedside table. Kuma was placed in the sleeping arms, and Ryuichi leaned down to give the sleeping man a kiss on his cheek. "Rest Shu-chan. I will be back shortly." He walked out the bedroom door, grabbed his jacket and went outside to meet K. Surprisingly, the blonde American did not ask any questions. He knew that when Ryuichi was ready, he would fill him in. After a few moments passed, Ryuichi filled him in on everything.

Tohma had been up all night tracing the damn email and nearly screamed in frustration. It had been sent from Eiri's home. Grabbing up his coat, Tohma strode out the door. He would go and see if he could find any clues. Eiri was smart but Tohma was smarter. Or so he thought. At the same time that his car pulled into the driveway, K pulled in at the same time. Tohma put on his serene smile and spoke. "K-san, what are you doing here?" Then he saw Ryuichi climb out of the passenger side.

"The same could be said to you, Tohma." Ryuichi said tone and face serious. Tohma took a small step back before he recovered himself. It was unusual to see Ryuichi stay so serious when he was around. Continuing, Ryuichi said, "I am getting Shu-chan's things, then you can go about your snooping. I do not care what you do as long as you keep your distance from Shu for the time being." Tohma opened his mouth to speak but Ryuichi interrupted him. "I know you too well Seguchi Tohma. You know me as well. It would be smart of you to remember what I am capable of." Turning his back on Tohma, he strode up to the door and let himself in. K looked at his boss for a moment then followed. Tohma balled his hand in a fist before he regained control over his temper. It was best to bide his time. Ryuichi was surprised at how little Shuichi actually had in the place. After all was gathered, it fit into two trash bags. He dropped the card on the kitchen counter and went out the door, K carrying the two bags. "All yours, I'm outta here." The two got back in the car and left, Tohma staring after them.

Once he was sure they were gone, he let himself in to the silent place. Hours passed, and he was getting royally pissed. Eiri had left not a single clue behind. How was that possible? Finally he gave into the urge to throw something. He picked up a lamp and heaved it at the wall. It struck with perfect aim and shattered into dust. He rolled his shoulders and stormed out the door. He would get to the bottom of this. If he had to call in every favor owed to him, he would find Eiri.

Shuichi woke and slowly sat up. He rubbed his eyes and then noticed Kuma in his lap. He looked around the room and saw the paper. He was almost afraid. His hand reached out shaking to pick it up to read it.

Dear Shu,

I went to grab your stuff. Do not worry, I will be right back. I put some food in the microwave for you. Make sure you eat. I will not be gone long and I have NOT abandoned you. Keep Kuma-chan safe for me until my return.

Love,

Ryu

Shuichi sighed and lay back against the plush pillows. A feeling of relief was replaced by loneliness, however. He got up out of the bed and straightened out the bedding. After grabbing Kuma, he went out to the kitchen. Before he reached the microwave, however, his legs gave out. The pain in his heart began to spill out, causing tears to stream down his face. "Why, Yuki? What did I do?" he wailed. He buried his face in Kuma as he cried. This was the sight that greeted K and Ryuichi. Ryuichi dropped the bag he was carrying and ran to the helpless man. Holding him, Ryuichi looked up at K, who set his bag down. Ryuichi had tears streaming down his face as the blonde American looked at the two.

"Shindou. I..." words left K's mind. What could he say to the pained pink-haired ball in front of him.

"What do I do, K?" Ryuichi asked him.

"First off, a bath might help him relax a bit. I will go get it prepped." With that he stood, making his way to Ryuichi's room. All the while, his anger at the novelist was building. While he was gun-crazy, yes, it was only for work. He did not enjoy making the singer cry and it killed him to see the younger man breaking. Even though he knew what was going, it did not make it any easier. He wanted to track the novelist down and pummel him into the ground. That would not benefit Shindou, though. He understood the reasoning behind the whole plan and knew they had to get the poor man through this.

Ryuichi carried the still shuddering man into the bathroom. "I have this K. Can I ask one more favor of you? We need some more food stocked." He sat the bundle in his arms down on the toilet seat and looked at his friend/manager. "We will definitely need lots of Pocky too." K nodded and went out of the room. Ryuichi turned back to Shuichi and slowly undressed him. Shuichi looked up at him a little shocked and blushed. "Hush. This bath will help you to relax." Looking over at the tub, he reached out and turned the knobs off. K had even put in bubble bath and scented salts. Ryuichi helped the younger man stand up and get into the tub. He began to back away to give him some space when a hand flashed out and gripped his hand. He looked back to see violet eyes pinning him.

Softly, Shuichi spoke, "Please stay. I feel calmer when you are here." He bit his lip and continued, a faint flush on his pale, tear-stained cheeks. "Even more so when you are holding me." Ryuichi looked at the younger man, trying to ignore the increased pace of his heart.

"Are you sure, Shu?" Shuichi nodded and shifted so that there was room for both of them in the tub. Ryuichi inhaled sharply, biting his tongue. He swiftly undressed and climbed in. He held out his arms and Shuichi leaned into him, head on shoulder. "I am here for you, always. I will not leave you alone." After a while, Shuichi pulled away. He reached for a washcloth and turned back to Ryuichi.

"Could you...um.." Shuichi blushed. Ryuichi understood and smiled. Taking the cloth, he grabbed a bar of soap that he had specially made. It smelled of strawberries. He lathered up the cloth and began to rub the younger man's back with it. Unthinking, Shuichi let out a soft moan. Ryuichi's hand paused, as the man was in shock. "Ryu?"

"Sorry, Shu." Ryuichi continued what he was doing, trying his best to ignore the twitching in his cock. He bit his tongue, hoping the pain would stop his reaction. It would not be good for him to end up with a hard on when all he was trying to do was comfort. He began to wash the younger man's back and there came another moan. Damn, this was getting hard. He rinsed out the cloth and wrung it out over Shuichi's back several times. He watched the water go down that smooth back and naughty thoughts flew into his head. He shook his head to clear it and looked back to see violet eyes peering back at him. He held his breath as he stared at that beautiful face, those soft, pink lips. Suddenly, he had no control. He leaned in and placed a gentle kiss on them. Shuichi gasped and Ryuichi deepened the kiss. His tongue darted in, tasting the sweetness of Shuichi's mouth. Abruptly, he came back to himself and pulled away. "I am so sorry, Shu." He didn't look at the younger man as he began to climb out, trying to shield his half-formed erection.

"Wait!" Shuichi's voice was breathless. Ryuichi paused, hand outstretched for the towel. He turned his head slowly, coming face to face with a flushed Shuichi. When had he stood up? He was unable to turn his head away despite the shame he felt. He had taken advantage of Shu! As if his thoughts were heard, Shuichi said, "You did not take advantage, Ryu." He climbed out and reached for his idol/friend's hand.

"Please, Shu. I am trying to gain control of myself. I," his words were cut off as a hand slid up his spine and down his shoulder. He gulped, turned his head away and tensed up, refusing to allow his muscles to do what they wanted. Shuichi came around so that he was in front of Ryuichi.

"Look at me Ryu." He made the older man look at him. Seeing the mix of desire and sorrow in those sapphire eyes was too much. Shuichi leaned in and kissed him. Ryuichi was stunned, unable to move. Did he respond or just wait? When there was no response back, Shuichi pulled away, not meeting Ryuichi's eyes. "I am sorry." He turned to grab a towel, and handed it to Ryuichi. Then, grabbing the second one, he ran from the room, hand on his mouth. Ryuichi stared after him. Shuichi made it to his room before the tears began. He threw him self on the bed, burying his face in the pillow to muffle his sobs.

"Am I that horrible? I am so annoying that no one can love me?" Silently, Ryuichi entered the room, towel wrapped around his waist. His heart broke to hear Shuichi's words and tears. Feeling wetness on his cheek, Ryuichi touched his face and felt his tears falling too.

"Shu-chan, Shu, my love." Ryuichi said as he walked over and sat on the bed beside the shaking man. He reached out to touch a shoulder, only to have it pulled away from him as Shuichi curled up in a ball on the far side of the bed.

"Don't, please don't. I am sorry." Shuichi sobbed. He began pulling on his hair fiercely. Ryuichi did not stop to think, all he saw was Shu trying to hurt himself. He leaped on the man and grabbed his hands. In the struggle to stop it, Shuichi ended up on his back, hands pinned above his head and Ryuichi was straddling his waist. The towels had come unhooked and were tangled between them. With one hand, Ryuichi reached for one of the towels, while Shuichi's hands were in his other. Quickly, he wrapped the wrists up in the towel.

"No hurting yourself, I said, Shu. Please!" Ryuichi looked down at the younger man. With one hand, he stroked the sad face he saw. "You ARE loved. You ARE NOT horrible. You are so special, I do not know how to respond to you. You blow my mind away and leave me stunned. Your beauty, your pure soul, everything about you stuns me into oblivion."

"Then, why?" Shuichi barely breathed out the words, not elaborating.

"Why did I not return the kiss? I was stunned and afraid." Before Shuichi could do more than open his mouth to say anything, Ryuichi continued. "I am afraid that I may inadvertently take advantage. I never want to hurt you. It kills me when I see you cry, even more so when I make you cry." Feeling that Shuichi was not struggling to move his arms, Ryuichi lessened his grip on the toweled wrists. "Are you done trying to rip your hair out of your head?" Shuichi nodded and Ryuichi unwrapped the towel. In that movement, the two penises brushed against each other, sending sparks of electricity through Shuichi's body. He moaned and then bit his lip. Ryuichi froze at the sound.

A/N I know more sadness but we are moving forward. Next chapter will seem a little short but only due to the fact that I have to remove the lemon. Lemon will be on other site. ( . ?no=3205) I hope every one is liking this.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Ryuichi did not dare to move. He was trying his best to control his reaction to the sound of that heavenly voice. "Ryu? Are you ok?" Shuichi looked up at the very still and silent man above him. Abruptly, Ryuichi leaped to the end of the bed, away from Shuichi and temptation. Shuichi sat up, looking worried. "Ryu?" he asked again. Ryuichi held up shaking hands, motioning for Shuichi to give him a minute. Ryuichi had pulled his knees up to his chest, pinning his erection, trying to make it go away. Shuichi began to move toward him, causing Ryuichi to back up, winding up back pressed against the wall. "Ryuichi, are you ok?" Shuichi began to get really worried. "Are you hurt?" Ryuichi swiftly shook his head in the negative but still held his hands out to keep Shuichi at a distance. It suddenly dawned on Shuichi what was wrong. "OH!" He stopped moving just at the end of Ryuichi's hands. Now he did not know what to do! After regaining his composure, he grabbed the edge of the comforter and covered himself. Ryuichi met Shuichi's eyes finally.

"I am ok, Shu. Just was a little wound, ya know?" Shuichi nodded. "Are YOU alright now?"

Again, Shuichi nodded. He pointed to the wall next to Ryuichi, silently asking if he could sit beside him. "Sure, Shu. I am calmer now." Shuichi reached back and grabbed the towel that had been left behind on the bed. After securing it around his waist, he moved next to Ryuichi.

"I really did not mean to get you wound up, Ryu." Shuichi said. "It was, well..." he flushed bright red. "Both in the tub and here, it felt good. Yuki and I have not been...hmm...busy you could say, in a while. I enjoyed your touch. It made me feel wanted." Shuichi finished, unable to look at Ryuichi, his eyes fastened to the mattress. He bit his lip again. "I am sor...", a finger touched his lips, silencing him.

"Stop saying sorry. You have not done anything to be sorry. Not at all. I seem to lose my self control when it comes to you. I want to comfort you through this but at the same time, my body keeps reminding me how bad..." Here he trailed off. He huffed and spoke again. "I said I would not pressure you." Shuichi nodded and then got up.

"Let's go get some clothes on and get some food. I am hungry. Is it still ok for me to wear that outfit from earlier still?" Ryuichi nodded and joined the younger man. He led the way back to his room. Once there, Shuichi picked up the clothes and went into the bathroom to get dressed. Ryuichi went into his other closet and grabbed jeans and a Bad Luck t-shirt. When they were both dressed, they went to the kitchen. K came in just as Shuichi sat down to eat his plate of food. Ryuichi picked up Kuma from the floor, where he had fallen earlier with Shuichi's breakdown. Feeling a little playful, he placed the pink rabbit on Shuichi's fuzzy pink head. K set down the groceries, eyeing the two men.

"Everything ok for the moment, Shindou?" he asked. Shuichi nodded at him, mouth full of rice. "Ryuichi and I grabbed all of your things. Want me to take them to your room? Hearing this, Shuichi's eyes started to glisten with tears but he did not let them fall. Instead, he wiped them away as he swallowed.

"I want to go through it all before it goes in there. I will need you guys with me, though, when I do. Thank you very much for everything you are doing." he said he looked between the two. Suddenly, Blind Game Again began to play. Shuichi looked up and asked, "Where is my phone?" Ryuichi went and grabbed it from the stand by the house door. Handing it to Shuichi, he noticed the name before the song ended.

"It's Hiro-kun, Shu."

Shuichi looked at K for a moment. "Does he know?"

"Only that you need the day off and that it was serious." K replied. Shuichi nodded and flipped open the phone, just as Blind Game Again started.

"Shu! Are you ok? Where are you? I went by Yuki's and you were not there. Hell, the door was unlocked."

"I am at Ryuichi's." He looked at Ryuichi and mouthed 'Can he come over?' Ryuichi nodded, holding his hand out for the phone. "Ryuichi wants to talk to you for a moment." He handed the phone to the older man.

"Hiro-kun, my address is..." Ryuichi rattled off his address to the red head. "Yes, we will fill you in on everything. Just not over the phone. Here he is." He handed Shuichi back the phone.

"You ok? I was so worried when I could not find you. Do you need me to bring anything to you?"

"Some pocky, please?"

"Sure, see you in about 15 minutes." Hiroshi hung up and Shuichi closed the phone. He started to push his plate away but K pushed it back at him.

"Eat. You need your strength. Don't make me bring out my baby." Shuichi let out a small smile and began to eat. By the time, Hiroshi arrived, Shuichi had finished eating and was in the living room on the couch. Hiroshi walked in and saw Shuichi's red rimmed eyes. He sat down beside Shuichi, plopping the pocky in his lap.

"What is going on?" He looked between the three men and then focused on Shuichi. It was Ryuichi who spoke though. He filled the red head in on everything. Hiroshi's face changed through many emotions as he listened. He looked at Shuichi holding his arms out. "Are you ok, really?" Shuichi nodded and hugged Hiroshi.

"I will get through this, with help from you three. Will you help me go through my stuff?" Hiroshi nodded. K brought in the bags and set them down. The four of them set to work. When something that connected to Yuki was pulled out, Shuichi's eyes began to water. Ryuichi held him while Hiro tossed it out of the room. "Where is my mug?" Ryuichi looked puzzled until Hiro described it and Shuichi said where it had been.

Shaking his head, Ryuichi said, "It was gone when I got there. Any where else it could be?" Shuichi shook his head in the negative. "I will get you a new mug, Shu-chan." He leaped up and ran out of the room. Hiroshi followed him.

"He took care of that mug. Where did it go?"

"Maybe Yuki took it. He did actually care for Shu-chan, even if he did not show it. That is why he did this. He left because he did not want to end up destroying Shuichi. I did not see any of their pictures that Shu had managed to get them to take there either. I think he took those and the mug to keep a piece of Shu with him." They had made their way to a closet at the end of the hall. Reaching up, Ryuichi pulled down a box. "Do you think he will be happy with this one?" Ryuichi asked, showing it to Hiro. He whistled.

"One of the limited edition mugs from your first tour? Hell yeah! He would cherish that!" Ryuichi smiled and closed the closet door. They walked back into the living room. Shuichi was where they had left him. Sitting down beside Shuichi, Ryuichi handed him the box. Shuichi looked at the box, at Ryuichi and back at the box.

"Is this what I think it is?" At Ryuichi's nod, Shuichi leaped to his feet. "Awesome! I will take care of this mug, as if it were the last thing in the world." The other three men smiled and then laughed. They brought Shuichi's things down to his room and put them away. When Shuichi began to yawn, he looked at his friends. "I had fun today. Thank you. I will be in to work within the next day or two. I do not think I could do tomorrow, though. I am so..." he stopped at the looks he was given. "OK! I know, none of this is my fault. Drive safe going home, Hiro and K." They said their goodbyes and left Shuichi and Ryuichi. They sat on the couch for a while, Ryuichi holding on to Shuichi until he heard Shuichi's soft snoring. He stood and picked up the slumbering pinkette. He carried Shuichi to his room and lay him down under the covers. Ryuichi stood up and started for the door. A softly spoken, "Ryu" made him turn around. Shuichi had woke and was looking at him.

"What is it, Shu?"

"Sleep here with me please?" After a moments pause, Ryuichi lay down on the bed. Shuichi snuggled up to him. "Thank you"

"No problem, Shu." He wrapped his arms around the younger man. They drifted off to sleep.

A/N Lemon to follow this part. To read go here: . ?no=3205


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Shuichi was so worn out, that he fell asleep in the brief time it to Ryuichi to grab the washcloth. Ryuichi came back in the room and stood watching his slumbering lover. Going back into the bathroom, he turned on the water to warm it and took a small glass bowl out from the cupboard under the sink. After pouring a little scented oil in it, Ryuichi then put the warm water in it. He grabbed a fuzzy cloth, a fresh washcloth and carried them all out to the bedroom. Listening to the soft snoring of Shu, Ryu began to wash him gently, using the soft fuzzy cloth to dry as he went. He was ecstatic! Here was the man he had loved for so long. Now he had the right to touch him, to caress him. When he was done, he took care of everything and climbed back into bed, enveloping the sleeping singer in his arms. "My love, my lover, mine." Ryuichi whispered. To have those words fall off his tongue was like pure bliss. He did not want to sleep, he just wanted to lay there watching Shu snuggled up to him. As he placed a kiss on the pink hair, a dark shadow entered his mind. Now, he did not dare to sleep. Knowing Shuichi as well as he did, he knew that less happy thoughts would enter the younger man's mind when he woke. Guilt, he knew, would be chief among them. He had to stay awake, so that when Shuichi woke, he could help the younger man deal with the emotions that were going to crash down. He tightened his arms.

Shuichi woke slowly, coming out of the blissful peace that was caused by great sex. He snuggled down into the arms he felt cocooning him, when suddenly, reality crashed in. His eyes flew open as they begin to fill with tears. He bit his lip to stop sobs from coming out as he tried to pull away. Yuki was gone, he had slept with Ryuichi, no, not just slept with! He had been top and bottom! He began to shake with the force of his emotions. Ryuichi felt the shaking man, and wanted to cry. It broke his heart to see Shu struggling like this. "Shu-chan?" The younger man stopped all movement but the tears began to fall. "Please, Shu. Talk to me." Ryuichi shifted so he could see the other's face without letting go.

"Please do not hate me," Shuichi sobbed, covering his face with his hands. "I know that I am horrible, annoying and..." He did not go any further when he heard a low growl. He looked at Ryuichi and began to turn his head away. Ryuichi rolled them until Shuichi was pinned underneath him. He took Shuichi's chin in his hand, forcing the shimmering violet eyes to meet his sparking sapphire ones.

"Shindou Shuichi! Stop this. I hate when you talk about yourself that way." He wiped the tears that were streaming down Shuichi's face. Softening his voice, he said, "You are not annoying or horrible. You are beautiful, kind, sensitive. I have loved you for so long. Your pain was my pain, your sadness mine. Every time **he** hurt you, I wanted to hurt **him**! I am not going anywhere. I could never hate you." All the time he spoke, his hands are stroking Shuichi's face, hair and neck. Tears began to trickle down Ryuichi's face. "Last night was the best night of my life. You are the best thing that has happened to me. I knew the first time that I saw you that you were special. I know things are rough for you right now. Let me heal you, let me love you." he ended in a whisper. He kissed Shuichi's wet cheek.

"I am just so scared, Ryu. So much has happened, so many changes in such a short time. I feel so broken right now. I do not know what is real."

"Let me pick up the pieces. Let me put you back together. I want to make you shine again. If possible, make you shine brighter." Ryuichi hugged the other man holding him tight. Shuichi wrapped his arms around Ryuichi, clinging to the comfort being offered. They lay like that until Shuichi's stomach growled. Sitting up, he said, "Let's get dressed and go out for breakfast." He held out his hand until Shuichi grasped it in his. He led Shuichi into the bathroom and started the shower. Once the temperature had adjusted, he stepped in pulling the younger man with him. "Let me bathe you." Shuichi stood there in the streaming water, as Ryuichi gently washed his body and hair.

Thinking to himself, "Why couldn't Yuki love me like this? He did love me in his own way, but he was never this gentle, or sweet. If we took a shower, it was only about sex." He shook his head clear of the thoughts that were triggering his tears again. Ryuichi looked up at the younger man, opened his mouth to speak then changed his mind. He stood up, dropped the cloth and enveloped the younger man in a hug. Without words, he conveyed his feelings. He wanted Shuichi to turn to him, lean on him...to love him. Shuichi's arms came around him and the dams holding back his tears broke. Ryuichi felt Shuichi's knees buckle and knelt down so they were both on the floor. "Why, Ryu?" was all that came out coherent in Shuichi's sobs.

"I have you, it is ok. If you break, I will pick up the pieces, if you stumble, I will catch you. Know I am always here for you and I will never let you down. Hush now, Shu." His hands rubbed the bare back knowing that comfort was needed here. When the sobs subsided and Shuichi was not trembling so much, Ryuichi reached up and turned off the water. Grabbing a towel, he rubbed Shuichi dry and then himself. Stepping out, he handed Shuichi a robe. "Time to eat, Shu-chan. Do you want to wear something of mine or yours?" After a moment, Shuichi walked into his room to his dresser. He pulled out his favorite bright orange hoodie and some olive green cargo shorts. Ryuichi nodded, thinking to himself, "Comfort clothes for him." Breaking his thoughts and musings, Ryuichi was startled to find a matching outfit placed in his arms. He looked at the other man and saw a hint of a smile. He made his voice go bright and cheery. "Ok Shu-chan! A matching pair we will make." After they got dressed, Ryuichi pulled Shuichi, who held Kuma out the door.

Meanwhile, in a luxurious office across the city, a blonde-haired man was nearly purple with rage. "Impossible! There is no way he can be hidden that well!" His hair now stuck up in tufts, where he had pulled it in frustration. It would seem that Yuki had learned to play as well as Tohma. He had spent the night on a wild goose chase, following lead after lead only to hit a brick wall every time. Yuki had closed out all his bank accounts and was now in the wind. He had meant it when he had said that Tohma had not won. "Shindou-san must have a clue as to where he would go. Time to tap that angle." His devious smile had returned.

A/N Sorry if it is a little short. Had a bit of writer's block.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

After they got breakfast, during which, Ryuichi watched his lover pick at his food until he was fully done, Ryuichi decided that his serious side was probably making Shuichi a bit nervous, so it was time to go back to being playful. "Shu-chan! What do you want to do now, na no da? We are not going home yet, time to be out and have some fun! We can go to a movie, or go shopping or where ever your heart desires. Time to bring back your sparkly sparkle!" He had lifted Kuma from Shuichi's lap to place the pink bunny atop the fuzzy pink head. Shuichi smiled a little bit.

"Umm, I need to go to the bank first. I want to pull out a bit of money. Then why don't we go shopping."

"Okie dokie, na no da! Let's go!" Ryuichi stood up, paid the bill and grabbed the younger vocalist's hand. He practically ran out the door, dragging the other behind him. "Where is your bank?" Shuichi rattled off the address and then stopped, looking at the face of his friend and idol. "Must be kismet," Ryuichi muttered to himself. At the puzzled expression on Shuichi's face, he giggled. "That is the bank my great-grandfather started. Let's go!" After hailing a cab, they rode to Shuichi's bank. Once there, they climbed out after paying the man. "Go on in Shu-chan, I will wait here for you." When Shuichi had gone inside, Ryuichi had pulled out his phone, intent on letting Hiroshi know what was going to be the plan for the day. That way, if he wanted, he could join them. Just as he flipped open the phone, an unknown number popped up on the screen. Puzzled and giggling of the irony of the phone ringing, he answered. "Moshi moshi. How can I help you?"

"How is he?" Ryuichi recognized the voice and became serious. After making sure Shuichi was still inside the bank, he responded.

"Yuki-san, how do you think he is doing? He is hurting, confused and scared. I am doing what I can with the help of Nakano-san and K-san." On the other end of the line, Yuki sighed.

"H-He is not doing anything to...are you keeping a close watch on him? With his sensitivity, I fear he might do something drastic."

"Do not worry, Yuki-san. I will not let him cause himself any harm. You trust me to look after him, right? You know how I feel about him."

"I do, Ryuichi. That is why I knew I could do this. I count on you keeping him safe. Not just from himself, but from Tohma too. I know that he is going to try to get to Shu once he fully realizes he cannot track me down. I know Tohma is your friend, but..."

"I know Tohma just as well as you do. I know his tricks and believe me. No matter what he tries, I will not let him hurt Shu-chan. I will let K-san and Nakano-san know to watch him close too, not that I need to. On a different subject, did you...well...Shu was asking about his mug. Do you know where it is?"

"I took it and the photos of us. I needed to keep a piece of him." There was silence on the phone for a moment. "Don't you dare tell anyone, got it?" There was a bit of his old attitude in the comment.

"Yuki-san, I will not tell a single soul." After a quick glance to make sure Shuichi was not on his way back out yet, he spoke again. "One last thing, then I have to hang up. Do you have any idea what I can do to make this easier? Do you think...yeah I know this may be a cruel question to ask of you but, do you think he will ever love me, truly love me? You have had his heart in your hands, so you know it a little better than I do."

"Do what ever you can to distract him for right now. That will make the healing easier for him. As to whether or not he will love you? If I had to say, you were his first love, even if he did not really recognize it. You have a place in his heart that not even I could take the place of. Some day, hopefully for both of your sakes, soon he will realize it. Unfortunately, he will still have a love for me in there too. Can you handle that? Believe me when I say, I never meant for him to feel any hurt, despite what my actions displayed. Love him, and his mind will come around to what his heart has always known. I was never the one destined for him. Bye Sakuma-san. Take care of our love." Ryuichi was left with a silent phone as Yuki hung up. In a dark hotel room, Yuki broke. He cried for his love, for everything he had put Shuichi through, and because he knew he had done the right thing. He pulled out the pictures of the two of them and Shuichi's mug. "Good-bye my love. Spread your wings and let your heart soar to where it truly belongs." He fell asleep, fingers caressing an image of the pink haired vocalist.

Ryuichi was lost in his own thoughts, Kuma's ear in his mouth. A hand placed on his shoulder caused him to jump. He turned to face Shuichi and saw the look on his face. "What is the matter, Shu-chan? You look like you have seen a ghost."

"There was money in there that was not there the other day! A lot more. All they said was that there had been a deposit placed in my name. That it was a gift from someone. They would not say from whom it came though." Shuichi rubbed his face, roughly. "Ok. Let's go shopping." He took Ryuichi's hand and headed down the sidewalk. Ryuichi smiled and followed. He whispered in Shuichi's ear a few places that he knew Shuichi would like. "Ok, lead the way." For the first time that day, a real smile graced his face. That was a start and gave Ryuichi a happy flutter in his chest. He remembered that he had not called Hiroshi. He stopped and pulled out his phone. He placed the call and Hiroshi told him that he would meet up with them in about a half hour. Ryuichi gave him the address and hung up. He let Shuichi know and Shuichi smiled at the news.

Hiroshi walked in the small, obscure store. He quickly spotted his best friend and Ryuichi. He smiled to see the two goofing around, picking out random clothes. There was a pile on a chair and Shuichi ran into the changing room, arms full of clothes. Ryuichi spotted Hiroshi and skipped up to him. "Hi ya Hiro-kun! Glad you could come."

"LA LI HO HIRO!" came from the changing room. "Crap! Can one of you help me?" Ryuichi chuckled and jerked his thumb toward the changing room. Hiroshi took the hint and walked over to the curtain and walked in. The sight that greeted him made him start to laugh. Shuichi had his arms stuck up in the air, shirt halfway on his head. Shuichi could not move his arms to move the shirt up or down. Hiro pulled the shirt off of Shuichi.

"What are you doing? That obviously does not fit." He shook his head at the blush that had spread on his friend's cheeks. He looked at the pants that Shuichi had put on. Soft, brown leather that molded to his body, causing Hiro to blush himself. He looked at the pile of clothes and pulled out a black leather vest that had fringe on the back as well as as fish net long-sleeved shirt. "Here, try these with those pants. Why was he blushing? He had seen his friend at various stages of dress and undress. Then he noticed that Shuichi's ribs were a little to prominent. "Be right outside if you need me," he said as he walked back out. He walked over to Ryuichi and whispered in his ear. "He is not eating enough." Ryuichi looked at him and nodded.

"I noticed it. However, he has not been eating enough for a while before this. I think the emotional strain he has been going through for the past couple of months has been affecting his eating. When we are done with this store, let's see if he will go with us to get a big lunch." Hiro nodded, wondering how he had missed Shuichi not eating right. As if reading his mind, Ryuichi placed a hand on the red head's shoulder. "You can not be expected to notice everything, Hiro-kun. We will take care of him." Shuichi came out to show the two his outfit. Hiro let out a low whistle and Ryuichi's jaw dropped open. The man before him looked delicious enough to eat! Closing his mouth, he swallowed. He went over to the other man and just kissed him. Not a deep kiss, just one that showed Shuichi what he could not say. Shuichi's cheeks burned a bright red.

"Do you like?" Both men nodded and gave a smile. "I will keep this outfit and the other two that you saw Ryu." Hiro raised an eyebrow. If this one looked this good, what did the other two look like? After Shuichi went back in the changing room, Ryuichi walked back over to Hiro. At the unasked question, Ryuichi pulled out his phone and showed Hiro the pictures he had taken of Shu in the other outfits.

"He definitely has sex appeal. Even to straight men." Ryuichi looked at him for a moment. "He is my best friend. I know that is all we ever have been or will be. Even in high school, it seemed like he was destined for you Ryu-kun. Every time he said your name, his eyes took on a sparkle that was beyond fan boy love. I do not know if he even knew it." Ryuichi's jaw dropped at Hiroshi's words. They were very similar to what Yuki had said to him. "The one thing I do know is this...you will not destroy him like Yuki-san nearly did. Your love shines through with every word, action and look. A part of me has loved him for a long time and yet, I know where he belongs. When I threatened Yuki back when they first got together, it was because of that love. I will not have to make that threat to you." Shuichi came out with the clothes and put back what he was not buying. He did not catch the looks on his friends faces and they quickly changed to light hearted looks. "What now, Shu? You hungry or do you want to go to another store?"

"I want to find some kick ass boots to complete these outfits and then we can go eat." Shuichi said. "Ryu do you know any good shoe stores that are like this store?" Ryuichi nodded. "Alright!" After paying for the clothes, the three of them went out the door. After another hour, Shuichi had 2 pairs of boots and 3 pairs of sneakers, one pair that went all the way up to his knee. He had decided to wear these out of the store. They a sparkly purple that matched his eyes, which were indeed sparkling. This matched the enormous smile on his face. "Time for food. I am starving!" The three of them laughed and went to the nearest food stand. Shuichi ended up eating three servings of ramen, which made the other two very happy. It seemed his appetite was beginning to return. "Why don't we all go back to the house and ditch this stuff. Then we can figure out what to do next." They all agreed and hailed a cab. Just as they were walking up to the door, Shuichi's phone rang out an ominous sound. It was the theme for the empire in Star Wars. "I wonder why Seguchi-san is calling?" he said as he pulled out the phone. The other two musicians burst out laughing.

"Konichiwa, Seguchi-san."

"Konichiwa, Shindou-san. How do you fare today?" Shuichi's smile left his face and nervousness set in. He really did not want to talk to his boss today. His eyes began to tear up as he responded.

"I am holding, sir. If you would pardon me sir, I really do not feel like talking. Sayonara." He hung up the phone as the tears began to track down his face. His legs gave out from under him. Ryuichi and Hiroshi ran to him. Ryuichi picked up the sobbing man as Hiroshi grabbed the bags and opened the door. Once in the door, Hiroshi dropped the bags and followed Ryuichi into the living room. They sat on the couch, Shuichi on Ryuichi's lap and Hiroshi beside Ryuichi. Ryuichi just held him as he sobbed and Hiroshi rubbed his friend's back.

A/N Another chapter for you. Hope you like it. If you want, let me know.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

Shuichi ended up falling asleep and Ryuichi carried him to his bed instead of Shuichi's. He wanted the younger man to be surrounded by his scent, hoping it would comfort him even in sleep. After placing Kuma in the sleeping man's arms, Ryuichi stroked that beautiful pink hair before walking out of the room. Hiroshi was still on the couch, a dark look on his face, when Ryuichi returned. "Why would Seguchi-san call out of the blue like that? He hated Yuki-san's and Shu-chan's relationship." He saw the dark look cross Ryuichi's face, and truth be known, it made him a little nervous. "Sakuma-san?" he said hesitantly, nerves betrayed by the way he called him. This brought Ryuichi out of his thoughts some.

"Hiroshi, there is trouble brewing. We will need to keep a close eye on Shu-chan and Tohma. When Yuki-san left, he made sure that not even Tohma will be able to track him. Tohma has an unhealthy obsession with the novelist. I'm sure you are aware of that fact. His next move, after everything else at his disposal fails, will be to try Shu. He will think that he MUST know where the man went, DESPITE the fact that he was taken completely unawares by this whole thing. I tell you now. I will protect Shu and you may see the darker side of me. Apparently, Tohma has forgotten about my capabilities, despite my outward actions. As long as you are by Shu's side, you have nothing to fear from me. I will be depending on you, when Shu feels better enough to return to work, to keep him clear. I will not always be able to be right there for him and Tohma is very meddlesome and manipulative. You are not able to do much, being as he holds the contract for Bad Luck over your heads, but he has no such hold over mine. I love Shuichi enough that I will throw away the friendship I had with Tohma. It has already begun to disintegrate due to his treatment of Shu." Ryuichi thrust his hand through his hair, showing more of his aggravation. Hiro thought for a moment and an idea began to form.

"I have an idea that will help us to circle around Shuichi and protect him a little bit more. Do you have an extra room? I was thinking that I could stay here for a while and we can both be here for Shuichi. Maybe, between the two of us, he will bounce back a little quicker." Ryuichi grinned. He and Hiro seemed to think a lot alike. His child-like nature seemed to burst back on his face, ridding it of the serious, dark look.

"I do. It is next to the room I had set up for Shu-chan. You are welcome to stay as long as you want. Our love for him will make him a shiny sparkle again!." Hiroshi just laughed. He got up and left the house to gather his stuff. He would be back within an hour's time. Ryuichi watched him leave, then he picked up Shuichi's bags. After carrying them to Shu's room, he decided it was time to check on his love. When he peaked his head in the room, he bolted for the bed. The smaller man, though still sleeping, was writhing about on the bed, sweat pouring off of him and tears streaking down his face. He was in the throws of a nightmare. Ryuichi climbed on the bed and pulled Shuichi to him, holding the younger in his arms, trying to calm him. One hand stroked his hair, the other just holding him still. He began to croon a nearly forgotten lullaby, his own tears coursing down his face. Slowly, but surely, Shuichi began to calm and settle in the arms embracing him. Ryuichi looked down at the slumbering face and saw a faint smile on pink lips. He whispered, "Shu-chan, I love you so much." To Ryuichi's surprise, Shuichi nuzzled into his chest and mumbled something that nearly stopped his heart.

"I love you, Ryuichi." He was clearly still asleep and yet Ryuichi could not fathom what was going on in Shuichi's dream. Hearing Hiroshi call for him, Ryuichi lay the vocalist back down. As he went to fix the covers, he noticed a distinct bulge in Shuichi's shorts. It made him blush and feel very happy. Covering up the younger man, he placed a kiss on his cheek, and ran for the door, away from sheer temptation. He met Hiro in the hall and led the way to the room that would be his. They got his things all put away and were headed for the kitchen, when a shrill "Ryuichi!" sounded through the building. They ran for Ryuichi's room. Ryuichi went in first and saw Shuichi looking panicked and crying. Shuichi saw Ryu and began to shake. "I-I-I thought," Ryuichi placed his finger on the crying man's lips and then wrapped his arms around him.

"I am here. I told you, I will not leave you. Hiro-kun is here with us too." With that said, he pointed at the door. Following the finger, Shuichi saw the red-head. Hiroshi came over and sat down beside the two men. He wrapped his arms around the two, encircling Shuichi with their love for him. He began to calm. "Better now?" Ryuichi asked him. He nodded and gave them a small smile. After a quick look at Hiro, Ryuichi looked back at Shuichi. "I know what will make you feel ten times better! We are going out tonight!" He pulled Shuichi off the bed and to his closet. "Pick out any outfit! Time to make Shu-chan shiny shiny! Wait!" He yanked on Shuichi's hand, pulling him to an enormous bathroom. Shuichi followed because it was that or lose the hand, arm and who knows what else. When he looked around the spacious room, his jaw dropped. Ryuichi had a king-sized Jacuzzi in one corner of the bathroom. Ryuichi ran to it and fiddled with a couple of buttons, causing the jets to start rumbling and moving the water around. The next minute, he was stripping Shuichi of his clothes. Shuichi stood there, completely befuddled, when he was picked up and dropped into the foaming water. "Now, Shu-chan, you relax. Hiro-kun, Kuma-chan, and I will get your clothes for you. Tonight is about you and making you happy, na no da!" He bolted out of the bathroom, leaving a stunned Shuichi staring after him. With a shrug, he went over to a corner and relaxed in the heated water, letting out a sigh when the jets began to pulse on his lower back muscles. Ryuichi was on the other side of the door, and grinned a big grin when he heard the sigh. He met Hiro out in the hall. "Let's get him so he feels super sexy again. Of the outfits he picked out today, which do you want to see him in?" After only a few seconds of thought, he responded.

"The black leather short-shorts, the sheer long-sleeved shirt and those knee-high boots with the spikes all the way up the sides. That will be fucking drool worthy and a half." Just the mere thought of the pinkette dressed that way gave both men half a boner. "No alcohol for him, though. He is going through emotional hell right now. No need to add a downer to his system."

"We are agreed on that. Maybe a little caffeine, definitely sugar, and lots of music and dancing. That is what he needs right now. You go get changed into what ever you plan to where and meet me back in my room. Project Shiny Shu is now in action!" With a big grin, Ryuichi took off to Shuichi's room to grab the clothes. He spotted Shuichi's little box that he kept on the dresser and looked in it. There was some stage jewelry, random odds and ends, and oh what was that? It was perfect to complete the ensemble. Grabbing the items, he hightailed it back to his room. Hiro was already there, dressed in fashionably ripped black jeans, black tank, leather jacket and leather fingerless gloves. All he had to put on now was his black boots, which had small chains on them. The only jewelry he had on was a simple silver chain." Ryuichi let out a low whistle. "The club is not going to know what hit them tonight!" That was all he said with a smirk, as he headed for his closet. When he stepped out, he was dressed in tight black leather pants, and a skin tight red tank. He held a red bandana in one hand and black boots in the other. Hearing a door knob turn, both men turned toward the bathroom door. Shuichi came out, a fuzzy towel draped around his waist. He stopped and stared at the two before him.

"Um, uh wow" was all he could say. Ryuichi walked over to him, dropping the boots, and grabbed his hand. He pulled the stunned younger man over to the bed and pointed to the bundle that had been placed there.

"Your turn now!" Shuichi looked at what was there and grinned his big grin. In a flash, the towel was gone. "Come on, Hiro-kun. Let's give him a moment to get dressed." Ten minutes later, they returned when Shuichi called them in. The sight that greeted them made Ryuichi drop to his knees, nearly in worshipping position. Shuichi stood there in the shorts, shirt, and boots. On his neck, he wore a studded collar, his wrists baring matching cuffs. His eyes were lined in kohl, his hair sexily tousled. Hiro looked at his best friend in awe. He held up one finger, turned, and walked out of the room. He was back a moment later with a small box in hand.

"I was going to give you this for your birthday, but I think it would be more appropriate to give to you now." He handed it to Shuichi. After looking at it for a moment, he opened it and grinned even bigger. A pair of leather fingerless gloves that matched Hiro's were in the box. "I saw you trying mine on a few months back and thought you might like a pair of your own." Just as the words left his mouth, he was glomped by a leather-clad, pink-haired sex kitten. Ryuichi took in the sight and then glomped the two of them, the end result was a pile of laughing men on the deep carpeting. After ten minutes had passed, they were all back on their feet, everyone finally fully dressed. "Ok you two, let's get going. I know the perfect place to go." Hiro walked out of the room. Ryuichi was trying to tie his bandana so that it would hold his hair just out of his face. Shu reached over and tied it in the back. Ryuichi had stilled at the brush of hands, willing himself to not jump the one he loved. Shuichi grabbed his hand and pulled him from the room.

"Let's go Ryu-chan!" Following the younger man, his eyes never left the sight of their hands joined together. Then he let hope begin to build, hope that Yuki and Hiro were right. Ryuichi called for a cab and they sat in the living room waiting for it to show up. Shuichi blushed, as Ryuichi's eyes never left him. "Ah, Ryu..."

Ryuichi stopped him with a searing kiss. "You are so damn beautiful and sexy! I love you, Shu." Shuichi went as red as a cherry. Hiro laughed and stood as the buzzer sounded, signaling that the cab was there. Ryuichi pulled on Shuichi's hand and said, "Let's go dance!" The three of them went out the door and piled into the car waiting. None of them noticed a figure watching in the shadows.

"Shindou-san, you will give me answers. I will have Eiri." With that, Tohma turned and walked back to his car. He followed the cab to the club, then drove on past. He had plenty of time.

The three men walked passed the line, right up to the bouncer and was immediately let in. The sound of the music pumping, wrapped around them like a blanket, as they stepped in to the packed, heated club. They made their way over to the bar and grabbed drinks. A beer for Hiro, a double Hot Tamale for Ryuichi, and an energy drink for Shuichi. After a few minutes, Shuichi got that gleam in his eyes, signaling that music had reached deep within him, making his blood sing. After a final chug on his drink, he headed for the dance floor. Ryuichi sat watching him get into the beat of the music, unaware that he was beginning to drool. He saw Shuichi dancing with such fierceness, he was blown away. The pink haired man was a sex God! A tap on his shoulder drew him from his stupor. Hiro motioned for him to get on the dance floor with Shuichi. Ryuichi did not hesitate. He had caught a glimpse of someone that he did not want near his Shu-chan. He glided up to Shu, grabbed his hips and began to grind against him in time with the beat of the pounding bass. Shuichi gripped Ryuichi's hips and did the same, and after a moment, his eyes slid closed as he felt the pleasure ripple through him. Ryuichi glared over Shuichi's shoulder, sapphire eyes meeting narrowed turquoise eyes. "Back off now," Ryuichi mouthed to his former friend. Acquiescing for the moment, Tohma turned around and walked away. Ryuichi saw Hiro get up and follow at a distance, and he turned his attention back to the man in front of him. Shu was beginning to pant, as his cock, hardened from the bumping and grinding, seemed to tighten even more. He opened his eyes and looked at Ryuichi. One look at the lust-glazed darkened eyes of his love, and Ryuichi felt himself harden to the point of pain. He leaned in and took Shuichi's lips roughly. Shuichi moaned as he nearly lost control of himself. Panting, he bolted from the dance floor to their seats. He lay his head down on the counter, as he discretely adjusted himself. Breathing slowly, he finally began to calm down. He raised his head to see those sapphire eyes watching him. Out of seemingly no where, the words entered his brain. The lyrics were so bad but so good at the same time.

A/N Sorry that it took so long for an update. Holidays are crazy times. Hope you enjoy.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Ryuichi was looking at Shuichi, trying to calm his own hormones. He did not want to end up jumping the younger man here in public. There was a look in Shuichi's eyes; a look that was different than any he had seen in recent times. He knew that look! Words were bouncing around in that brain! It was a start, a turning of the page for Shuichi. That meant he was beginning to bounce back. It made him happy to see that. "Hey Shu-chan, what's hopping in that brain of yours?" Shuichi blushed and shook his head.

"It is nothing, but when we get back to the house, I need paper. The music is flowing in me again." He did not elaborate, knowing that as a fellow lyricist, Ryuichi would understand. He turned and ordered a simple soda from the bar keep. Hiro came back at that moment, and seeing Shuichi momentarily distracted, whispered in Ryuichi's ear. A dark look crossed his face and was gone with a nod. "Shu-chan, come dance with Hiro-kun and I for one more dance. Then we can take this party home. I have something to show you." With a nod, Shuichi followed the brunette and the red head to the floor. They all started dancing and somehow, Shuichi found himself as a Shu sandwich. He blushed, talk about an odd position to be in! Not that it was the first time he had ever danced close to Hiro, just a little odd to be quite that close. However, he just decided to enjoy it, completely unaware as to why they had closed ranks the way they did. Hiro had watch Tohma walk out of the club but did not know where he went after that. Both men were determined to protect Shuichi and still wanted him to have fun. It was definitely something he needed. Just as they were getting ready to leave the floor, a surprise announcement stopped them. The club owner had spotted the three of them.

"Would Sakuma-san, Shindou-san and Nakano-san, please grace the club with one song? Just one?" At the words, the club erupted in cheers and screams. The three of them looked at each other and shrugged. After finally being able to make their way to the stage, they agreed. Ryuichi looked at Shuichi for a moment, then whispered in his ear. Shuichi's mouth dropped open then closed. With a nod, he and Hiro walked over to the club owner and spoke with him. Hiro went and grabbed a guitar and the two vocalists grabbed microphones. Moments later, an audio track of Rage Beat began. It had only the keyboards going and Hiro timed it right so that his guitar was right on time. The two vocalists began to sing, the crowd began to move closer. At one point in the chorus, Ryuichi tossed his mic and sang into Shuichi's with him. This caused the crowd to roar! When the song ended, there was a chant coming from the crowd begging for one more song. Shuichi whispered in Ryuichi's ear, and he grinned and nodded. A quick word with the owner and Hiro again, and Sleepless Beauty began. The three of them blew the roof off of the place, fans screaming and cheering. The rush of it set Shuichi's blood singing. After a bit, they were finally able to make it out the door. Shuichi started laughing, the feeling of tonight had him flying! The other two looked at him and smiled. This was what they wanted to see. They linked arms with Shuichi, placing him in the middle, and walked back to Ryuichi's house. As they were walking up the steps, Shuichi's phone rang out Tohma's ring tone. Before he could answer it or lose the smile from his face, Ryuichi took the phone and tossed it into the street. Immediately after, a car whizzed by, an audible crack sounding the doom of the phone.

"I will get you a new one and Tohma will not have the number. Let's go show you my secret room, Shu-chan!" They went in the door, and Shuichi, mind confused but happy, followed. At the end of the hallway, was a single black door. It appeared to be covered in padding and leather. Ryuichi took out a key and unlocked the door. He turned to Hiro and said, "Cover his eyes. I want him to get the full effect once in here." Hiro complied, and Shuichi heard the door open. He heard Ryuichi's footsteps, and heard flipping switches. He heard the amazement come out of Hiro's mouth. He was guided in and then stopped. "Look at my special sanctuary, Shu." Hiro's hand were removed and Shuichi was blasted with light. After a moment, his eyes adjusted. He dropped to his knees. This was a studio! This was where Ryuichi wrote his songs! A rare thing it was, to see Shuichi speechless, but that was what he was. He turned his gaze around the room, took in Hiro lightly touching a guitar and then looked at Ryuichi. He held out a gold ball-point pen and some paper. "You wanted to write? This is the place for it." All of a sudden, the words that popped into his head at the club came rushing back to him. He took the tools of his trade and began to scribble out the words. Hiro came back to stand by Ryuichi, watching his best friend. After a short time, he handed them to Ryuichi, face a brilliant crimson. The other two men read the words on the page. Their reactions were totally different but both showed their enjoyment of them. Ryuichi dropped into a bean bag chair, face blushing, while Hiro gave a naughty smirk.

"Wow, Shuichi. That is going to be a hot song." If it was even possible, Shuichi blushed deeper. "Let me hear you sing it and I will start on the musical composition of it." With a nod, Shuichi stood up, opened his mouth and let his voice ring out sultry and husky.

_Bīto ga okotte shutoku suru toki ni, _  
_Watashi wa tasukeru koto ga idō suru koto wa dekimasen. _  
_Watashi no koshi wa, atsuen kaishi _  
_Banpingu to kensaku. _  
_Watashi no ketsueki ga futtō shi hajimeru to, _  
_Shunkan no atsusa no naka de toraemashita. _

_Kono jōnetsu ga aru _  
_(Hotto, hotto) _  
_Anata wa watashi o tsukuru _  
_(Hotto, hotto) _  
_Tsudzukeru Rettsu _  
_(Hotto, hotto) _  
_Mushi to ase _  
_(Hotto, hotto) _

_Teion wa būmu ni nari hajimeru to, _  
_Watashi no chi wa, sore ga jūjū to iu oto o kaishi shimasu. _  
_Ekusutashī wa, heya ni shintō _  
_Watashi wa yokubō o kanji saseru. _  
_Watashi wa, itazurana koto o kangaeru _  
_Watashi wa anata ni yaritai koto. _

_Kono jōnetsu ga aru _  
_(Hotto, hotto) _  
_Anata wa watashi o tsukuru _  
_(Hotto, hotto) _  
_Tsudzukeru Rettsu _  
_(Hotto, hotto) _  
_Mushi to ase _  
_(Hotto, hotto)_

_Bīto ga tenmetsu shite iru _  
_Watashi wa makikoma rete imasu. _  
_Watashi no koshi o tsukamu _  
_Sono kibun o sayū suru. _  
_, Anata no te o ugokashite _  
_Anata ga hoshī mono o toru. _

_Kono jōnetsu ga aru _  
_(Hotto, hotto) _  
_Anata wa watashi o tsukuru _  
_(Hotto, hotto) _  
_Tsudzukeru Rettsu _  
_(Hotto, hotto) _  
_Mushi to ase _  
_(Hotto, hotto) _

_Kono bīto ni awa sete _  
_Watashi wa tomeru koto wa dekinai _  
_Watashi wa netsu o hitsuyō to _  
_Watashi wa sore o kanjite mimashou _  
_Sō sō _  
_Sore dakedesunode, sore o okuridasu!_

When he was done, Hiro's smirk had faded away and been replaced with awe. Ryuichi was squirming in his seat. "Was it that bad?" Shuichi asked, a bit hesitant. The two men fervently shook their heads no. Then he noticed something that made him gulp. Both men were sporting bulges in their pants. "Um, ok. Do I take the sight I see as a good sign?"

"Yeah, you could say that." Ryuichi's voice came out rough, and lust-filled. Hearing that sound caused a thrill to go through Shuichi. It brought back memories of the previous night. The resulting hard-on was painful enough to drop him to his knees, letting out a moan as he dropped.

"I am going to take a cold shower, now, I think." Hiro said as he adjusted himself. "I will start on the composition a bit later. There is no way, I will forget the sound of that one." After a slight wave, he walked out of the room. The moment he was gone, Ryuichi was on Shuichi. The younger male was pinned to the floor, lips being assaulted. Ryuichi was on top of him, hips grinding, lips and tongue attacking. Then just as sudden as he had appeared, he was back in the bean bag, face buried in his hands.

"I am sorry, Shu. I could not help myself. With what you are wearing, combined with that song...Well it was too much. I could not control myself. You are pure, unadulterated, walking sex!" Shuichi sat on the floor for a moment, still panting slightly, before crawling over to the other man. He gingerly touched a knee. "Tonight, it was like being in the presence of an all-powerful being."

With a blush, Shuichi replied, "That is what I always felt you were. Every time that I saw one of your videos or concerts, that was how I felt. You were always a vocal god, a sex god and a dream god. When you showed up at Zepp Tokyo, I felt the same. Those words that I wrote tonight, they were inspired by you. You, your dancing, and the music around us. They blew through me, singing. I ran because, well, I nearly lost control myself on that dance floor." His face was pointed at the floor, as he was slightly embarrassed by what he was saying. Ryuichi's head had come up by the end of Shuichi's words. He was watching Shu's face, saw it deepen in color. He placed his finger under the blushing man's chin and raised it, wanting to see those eyes. The eyes that drove him wild, made him want to do crazy things. They had darkened to a blue-violet from the passion behind his words. He leaned in and gave just a brush of lips across a cheek.

"You humble me, Shuichi. I have never felt like this. Excited, humbled, loved like this." Shuichi blushed again and lowered his face. "Look at me, Shu-chan." He began again when Shuichi was looking at him again. "I love you, am amazed by you, and I think..." Ryuichi bit his lip and hid his face before continuing. "I think I would be lost without you now. I want to stay by your side always. I want you by mine." He looked back after hearing a strange sound. Shuichi was shaking and had his face buried in the bean bag beside Ryuichi's leg. Reaching over, he pulled the quivering body onto his lap. Looking into Shuichi's face, he saw all the confused emotions flowing across it. He wrapped his arms around him and hugged him. "I know it is too much to take in right now. Why don't we put you in bed? Sleep would be good for you right not." Standing, he walked out of the room and down the hall. Hiro came out of his room, dressed in sweats and a baggy tee. "He needs rest. I think, right now he needs your comfort, though too." He handed Shuichi to Hiroshi and walked to his room. Once the door was closed, he sank to the ground, shaking himself. Who knew that love could be so overpowering? He made his way to his bathroom, stripping himself as he went. He started the jets on the Jacuzzi and climbed in, lost in his thoughts.

Hiro carried Shuichi into the room and set him down on the bed. He took in the sight of the massive confusion on his friend's face, then turned and grabbed sweats and shirt for Shuichi. "Want to talk?" Shuichi shook his head in the negative first, then changed his mind. He nodded, took the clothes offered to him, then went into the bathroom to shower and change. Hiro followed after him, a bit concerned, once he heard the shower start. Shuichi heard him enter and sit on the closed toilet.

"Hiro, I do not know how to feel. I feel heartbroken and lost because Yuki left. Yet, I also feel like, I don't know, I am where I was always supposed to be. I love Yuki, but the emotions that Ryuichi are stirring up seem almost overwhelming. They are more powerful than any emotion that I felt around Yuki. I am happy, sad, even angry. Not angry at Ryuichi, but at myself and at Yuki. Even then, my anger at Yuki seems pale compared to every other emotion flowing through me." Shuichi's voice shook when he finished what he was saying.

"I think you need to take this one step at a time. Look at how you feel, but do not pick it apart. Emotions are confusing things, but they lead you to where your heart is. What do you want to do next? One step is all you have to take right now. Figure out your move."

"I want to go back to work. It will help, I think. I will start again tomorrow, just..." his voice trailed off. "Is there a way that I can avoid Seguchi-san in the process? I am not ready to face him yet. I know he is happy that Yuki and I are apart." His voice had gone a little bitter.

"Actually, right now, I think he is royally pissed off." Shuichi popped his head out of the shower, as he turned it off. He had a puzzled look on his face. He pulled in a towel and his face disappeared from view, as Hiro continued. "Yuki-san has essentially disappeared. From what I gather, Seguchi-san can not even track him. Ryuichi and I will be staying as close as possible. We feel that he may think you have information he can use." A thump heard in the shower made Hiro jump to his feet. Then he heard a snicker.

"Me? Know where Yuki is? Even if I did, which obviously I have no clue, I would never tell Seguchi-san. Such an arrogant prick! Thank you for the heads up though. I will be mindful. Should we be worried about Sugaru though?"

"I will keep an eye on him, but no, I do not think we will have to worry. He has his own issues with his cousin." Shuichi got dressed and yawned. "Go to bed. I will call K and tell him we will be there around noon tomorrow." With a nod and a hug, the two parted ways and Shuichi crashed nearly as soon as his head hit the pillow. Hiro walked to Ryuichi's room and knocked. Hearing a muffled enter, he walked in. "Shu wants to go back to work tomorrow. I do not know what you said to him, but he was overwhelmed for a bit. He is better now though. Before you start to worry though, it was a good overwhelming. He is starting to think about how his emotions feel. What he feels with you versus what he felt with Yuki. His heart is starting to tell him what we who know him, already know. He will realize his love for you." With that, Hiro walked out and went to bed. Ryuichi sat there stunned for a moment, then smiled. He snuggled down into the blankets, Kuma in hand, and closed his eyes.

A/N Here is another chapter. The song is another I wrote. enjoy! Again, I used Google translator, so hope it is close. The english translation is below.

When the beat gets going,

I can't help but move.

My hips start rolling,

Bumping and grinding.

My blood begins to boil,

Caught in the heat of the moment.

This passion is

(hot, hot)

You make me

(hot, hot)

Let's keep going

(hot, hot)

Steaming and sweaty

(hot, hot)

When the bass begins to boom,

My blood, it starts to sizzle.

The ecstasy permeates the room,

Makes me feel the lust.

I think of naughty things,

Things I want to do to you.

This passion is

(hot, hot)

You make me

(hot ,hot)

Let's keep going

(hot, hot)

Steaming and sweaty

(hot, hot)

The beat is pulsing

I am caught up.

Grab my hips

Sway that mood.

Move your hands,

Take what you want.

This passion is

(hot, hot)

You make me

(hot, hot)

Let's keep going

(hot, hot)

Steaming and sweaty

(hot, hot)

With this beat

I can not stop

I need the heat

Let me feel it

OH yeah

That's it, PUMP IT!


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

It was dark out as Shuichi looked around. Why was he in the park? He began to walk, pondering this. How did he get here? Then he saw a familiar silhouette. He began to run toward the man, arm extended reaching for him. "Yuki! Yuki! Wait!" The figure looked at him then turned and disappeared. Shuichi stopped moving and dropped to the ground. Abruptly, he was no longer in the park but in NG Studios. He saw Ryuichi walking down the hallway toward him. Something was off though, he did not have his usual smile on his face when he looked at Shuichi. He opened his mouth to call out to Ryuichi but nothing came out. Shuichi grabbed his throat, wondering why his vocal cords were not responding. As Ryuichi drew nearer to him, a glower came on to his face. He stopped when he was face to face with the silent pink-haired man.

"You are nothing more than a copy cat. Why did I ever get on that stage with you? Why should I want you? Go away, shadow, for that is all you are." Ryuichi's voice came out cold. It was colder than it had ever been when he spoke to Shuichi. Not even during the competition between the bands, had he ever been so cruel! Ryuichi turned to walk away, as Shuichi reached to grab hold of him. His hand passed through air, as though he really was a shadow. His eyes began to fill with tears, as he turned to look for Hiro. He would still care about him! Hiroshi appeared suddenly at the mere thought. His eyes were cold as he held up a poster of Shuichi, the word **SELFISH **written across his face. Then there was nothing, no place, nobody except that eerie laugh of Seguchi. He tried to run away from the sound but it was all around him.

"You are nothing, Shindou-san. A vapor, a shadow, a nobody!" These words taunted Shuichi as he ran through the never ending nothingness that surrounded him. Suddenly the ground opened up underneath him, swallowing him up. He screamed as he fell into darkness. Waking, he was still screaming, but he was not alone. Ryuichi was cradling him and Hiro was tugging on his arm.

"Wake up, Shu! Please! You are scaring Ryuichi and I," came Hiro's panicked voice through the haze and screams. Shuichi stopped screaming but he was shaking like a leaf in a hurricane. "Hush, Shu. It is ok, we are here with you." Hiro's voice had calmed but his fear still showed on his face. "Take deep breaths. You need to calm yourself." Following the instructions, Shuichi began to take deep calming breaths. After a few minutes of this, his shaking began to subside. It was then that he felt the shaking coming from the surrounding arms. He turned his head to look at Ryuichi and was stunned at the look on his face. There were tears and utter terror on his face. That beautiful face should never have that look on it! Shuichi reached up a hand to place it on Ryuichi's cheek, trying to calm him, but all it did was break loose the sobs the older man had held back. Shuichi tried to pull away, only to have those arms tighten almost painfully around him. Shuichi wrapped his arms around Ryuichi, trying to comfort him. "Can you tell us? What was it about?" Shuichi's eyes filled as he began relaying the dream to Hiro. His voice was dry as dust and as brittle as an icicle. The screaming had made his throat sore. Ryuichi began to cry harder, when Shuichi reached the point of the dream that concerned him. Hiro's face was pained as Shuichi finished telling the whole nightmare. "Shu," here his voice cracked, but before he could continue, Ryuichi spoke up in a hushed tone.

"The dream was wrong. You are everything. Hiro and I love you and will not turn our backs on you. We are here for you." He paused then continued on. "Is that how you felt? That time in the hall, when you lost your voice? I did not think that or want you to feel that. I just wanted you to get your sparkle back. I am sorry if that is how you felt." The tears were falling again. "Even then, I loved you. It pained me to see you hurting because of Yuki-san. I hated that he had found you first, but I knew he was the source of your sparkle at the time. That was the reasoning behind my behavior to you. That was all. I am so sorry, Shu." Before he could speak in response, Hiro found his voice again.

"Same when I threatened to leave Bad Luck. I never meant to hurt you. I honestly felt I was not needed any longer. I have never felt you were selfish on important things, ever. Maybe, with your pocky and insignificant things but never with yourself or heart. Your emotions, your heart, yourself, you have always put out there. You think of others before you. You are my best friend and closer to me than my own brother. I will not abandon you." After a brief silence, Hiro spoke again. "Yuki left because he knew what you did not. He was never destined to be your forever. Yes, you love him, but even he could see where your heart was destined to harbor." Shuichi looked puzzled at Hiro's words but he did not elaborate any further than one final sentence. "It is for you to find the truth in your heart now." He stood up, looked at the clock and said, "I am going to go back to sleep for a few hours. When we get up later, we can discuss if we go back to work today or tomorrow. Get rest, Shu. Remember, you are loved." With that, Hiro walked out of the room. After a moment, Ryuichi stood as well, picking up Shuichi in the process. He walked out of the room and into his own. He placed Shuichi tenderly on the bed and sat down beside him.

"Please, stay in here with me for the rest of the night, Shu. We do not have to talk, but I was so frightened when I woke to your screams. Let me hold you, let me keep the dreams away. Hold me, so I do not feel this fear." His hand was stroking from the pink hair down Shuichi's back. Shuichi nodded and crawled up to the mountain of pillows. He crawled under the comforter and waited. Ryuichi joined him, and Shuichi snuggled up to him. Ryuichi wrapped his arms around Shu and he sighed.

"I am sorry for scaring you, Ryu. I just felt so alone and unwanted in the dream."

"Remember what I said in the studio?" He searched Shuichi's face and was graced with a blush. "I meant every word I said. You will come to trust me and yourself. Now let us rest." He placed a kiss on that soft hair. Shuichi gave a contented sigh and appeared to fall asleep. Ryuichi lay there, holding the younger man and thought. He thought about everything that had transpired in the past month, starting with the call from Yuki. He thought about the dream Shu had had, causing him to tighten his grip on the sleeping singer. Shuichi nuzzled in closer and his arms held Ryuichi tight. Then a soft whisper came from those lips.

"I love you, Ryuichi." Shuichi had said it again!

"If only you were awake and saying that Shu-chan." Ryuichi spoke in the barest whisper as he turned his eyes to his love, only to see the eyes were open! "Shu? Did I wake you?" Shuichi shook his head and slid up so that he was facing Ryuichi directly face to face.

"That is what my heart is telling me, Ryu. That I love you." He blushed then continued on. "My heart has always sung for you, even when I was unaware of it. I know that right now I am a mess." He stopped Ryuichi's protest with a hand to the mouth. "I am not looking at you as a rebound. I was thinking, not sleeping. Hiro was right. My heart has always had a place that not even Yuki could fill. What I feel or felt for him pales in comparison to what I feel for and around you. I was overwhelmed earlier, when we were talking. I did not understand what I was feeling. It was all a jumble of confusing emotions." He lay a soft, chaste kiss on Ryuichi's lips. "I know that I need to explore everything more, but one thing I am certain of. I am certain of you. I love you and want you to stay by my side. I want to stay by yours. With you, I do not feel overpowered, overwhelmed yes, but not overpowered. I feel that we are equals, that we are right! With Yuki, everything was too much, too high powered. I felt like I was climbing a mountain, never getting any closer to the peak. With you, I am climbing and you have your hand outstretched, reaching for me." Ryuichi lay there stunned, but happy. The tears were in his eyes, he ached to hold his love, but his arms would not move. Shuichi lay down on the stunned older man, and snuggled into him. "Just hold me, please. I want, no, need to feel the realness of your arms. Your love shows its self in words, actions, looks, everything." Ryuichi's arms came around him and they both sighed. They fell asleep like that, smiles on both of their faces.

A/N sorry if it is too short. this was pulling on me to be put out there. there is trouble on the horizon though...do not forget Tohma


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

That was how Hiro found them, when he woke around 10 am. He poked his head in, saw the smiles on the sleeping faces and the positions of the bodies, and smiled. He silently closed the door, thinking to himself, "It is about time, Shu. About time." He walked away, intent on calling K and letting him know that tomorrow, most likely, they would be back in the studio. He made the call, got dressed and decided to let the new lovebirds have the place to themselves for a bit. He left a note and went out the door, making sure it was locked behind him. He did not notice a car parked a little way down the street. Tohma frowned in the car, and began to backtrack his plans. There were numerous way for him to get to Shuichi. An evil smirk replaced the frown as he thought of one person who would be royally pissed at the current turn of events. He drove off, plotting and laughing. The sleeping men in the house would not know what hit them.

Completely unaware of the plotting taking place, Shuichi dreamed. He and Ryuichi were back on the dance floor. Instead of running away this time though, Shuichi got bolder. When Ryuichi leaned down to give him a rough, heated kiss, Shuichi twined his fingers into the older man's hair. He returned the kiss with one of his own, nipping on a lower lip, before battling with tongues. Ryuichi started to pull back from the kiss, when the grip in his hair tightened. Shuichi let loose those delectable lips, only to trail his down Ryuichi's neck. At the collar bone, he nipped and sucked, one of his hands released Ryuichi's hair and trailed down between the two men to grasp something just as silky but much harder. Ryuichi's breath came out in pants, as he gripped the younger man to him.

Ryuichi was dreaming of the other night with Shu. All the passion, the heat that had flown between them. Only this time, Shuichi looked at him and spoke those words, wonderful words, as they both let go. Both men bolted awake, panting and flushed. Shuichi was blushing as he looked at Ryuichi's flushed face. Shuichi went to move and realized that both of them were in the same predicament, as two clothed erections brushed one another.

A/N next part will only be able to be seen on the other site

"My love, my love." That was all Ryuichi could say. Shuichi panted for a moment, trying to get his breathing back to normal. He leaned in for a kiss.

"That was amazing!" He nuzzled Ryuichi for a moment. "I think we both need a shower," he said as he rolled away to sit up. He winced a bit as he stood. Ryuichi watched as Shuichi did a funny walk to the bathroom. He held in his giggle though, knowing that he was probably going to be walking the same way. He stood, stretched and winced. He knew it but it was well worth it. He grabbed clothes for both of them and joined Shuichi in the shower. An hour or so later, they were both clean, and waddling a bit more than walking. They had made it to the kitchen area to hunt up some food, when there was a pounding on the front door. Wondering who it could be, Ryuichi made his way to the door. He was shocked at the sight that greeted him, upon opening it.

A/N if you want to read the rest, message me and i will get you the link. Sorry this part seems so short, but got to stick with the rules. Let me know if you like or dislike.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

"Tat-kun! What are you doing here?" Ryuichi greeted the man at the door, surprised.

"Sakuma-san" was the cold reply. Ryuichi's jaw dropped open at the formality of the words from his former lover. "Where is he? Where is that bastard?" Tatsuha pushed his way past Ryu into the house. He spotted Shuichi and snarled. Whirling back to face his former lover, Tatsuha spat out, "Looks like you got what you always wanted!" Turning his fury back to Shuichi, he ran and grabbed the startled and frightened man by the shirt. "You slut! How can you cheat on aniki like this? Hell, you...you bastard!" One hand let go of the shirt, pulled back and a fist hit Shuichi in the cheek hard enough to send his head backward. He shook the pink haired man, ignoring the tears that began to fall. This brought Ryuichi out of his stunned silence. He stormed over and ripped Tatsuha away from his weeping lover. Shuichi crumpled to the floor, hand on his cheek, crying silent tears.

"Tatsuha! Leave him alone! You idiot! He is not cheating on Yuki-san! Yuki left him!" His sapphire eyes were snapping fire at that moment, which caused the object of that anger to gulp. "Why the hell are you here anyway? How did you know Shu was here?" After speaking those words, he dropped Tatsuha and ran to Shuichi, who's cheek was darkening into a nasty bruise. "Shu-chan, I am here. Look at me," he said trying to get Shuichi to turn his head to him. Shuichi, still crying silently, jerked away and ran to a corner, curling into a small ball. Ryuichi looked at him, shock and hurt on his face. Then it darkened up again. He turned to the dark haired man getting to his feet, a red haze tinting his vision. "How dare you fucking hit him, and in my house!" He started to stalk the younger man, who had backed into a wall. As he was reaching for the trembling man, though, he heard a whimper behind him. It brought him out of his temper enough to realize he was probably scaring Shu. He ran back and cradled the young man. Shuichi, by this point, was shaking and his breathing was erratic. Ryuichi picked him up and walked out of the room, forgetting Tatsuha. "Calm yourself, Shu. You need to breathe. I will not let him touch you again." He placed the quivering ball on his bed. Grabbing Kuma and his blankets, he placed the pink bunny on Shuichi's feet and wrapped him up in the blankets. Hearing a sound behind him, Ryuichi whipped around to see a shame faced Tatsuha. "Make yourself useful, for once. Get me ice. I have to bring down the swelling on his face." Silently, Tatsuha nodded and went to the kitchen. When he returned, he saw Ryuichi sitting, murmuring in Shu's ear, while he rubbed his back. Tatsuha held out the ice pack hesitantly, Ryuichi grabbed it and pointed to a corner in the far end of the room. "Sit, I will deal with you later." These words were like ice and devoid of emotion other than malice. With a gulp, he did as ordered. He had never seen Ryuichi this mad, ever.

"Come on, Shu. I need you to look at me. I know it hurts but I need to tend to it." Carefully, he tilted Shuichi's head so he could place the ice on the swollen, nasty black bruise. "How does that feel?" Shuichi opened his mouth to respond but nothing came out. "Shit, shit, shit! Not again, come on Shu. I will fix you a eucalyptus bath. Maybe that will help." He picked up the bundle that was Shuichi and carried him into the bathroom. After making sure the bath was all set and Shuichi was comfortable in it, he ran a hand through the silent man's hair. "We will get to the bottom of this. Just relax and breathe in the vapors." Ryuichi walked out of the bathroom, softly closing the door. "Tatsuha! Where did you hear that he was here? What gives you the right to hit him?" Ryuichi was starting to shake with the anger, and he forced himself to take several deep breaths to calm himself.

"Ryu, I am sorry. I received an anonymous email. I reacted purely on my emotions. You know, I normally would never hurt Shu-chan in any way." His voice shook a little when he saw the look he received when he called Shuichi Shu-chan. He was scared of this side of Ryuichi, and yet, strangely attracted at the same time.

"I know exactly who it was that emailed you." Ryuichi's voice went to such an iciness that it could rival Yuki Eiri's. "Get out and do not come back unless I tell you to. Tell Tohma to stop his games. He does not want to mess with me when it concerns Shu." Tatsuha nearly tripped over his feet running to get out of there. After peeking in on Shuichi, who was crying silently, Ryuichi pulled out his phone. He sent a text message to Hiro, requesting that he come back immediately from wherever he was. The only other thing he said was that Shuichi needed Hiro. He then called K but only received his voicemail. "K, I need you here within the hour. It concerned Shuichi and his safety." He closed his phone and went into the bathroom. Climbing in the tub, he wrapped his arms around Shuichi and pulled him close. He softly sang to the younger man, trying his best to calm him.

Tohma sat in his office, gleefully rubbing his hands together. "This will work perfect. There is no way that Tatsuha will know what is going on and he will not like the sight of Shuichi in his place. Not to mention, he has no idea who sent him the info. Hehehehe." To Tohma's surprise, his office door slammed open, revealing a very agitated Tatsuha. "Why Tatsuha-kun, what a surprise. I did not expect to see you. Last I heard from Mika, was that you were staying in America."

"Can it Tohma! Why? Why did you set me on Shuichi like a dog?" He had gained a bit of his composure back and was starting to get very angry at being used. "Ryuichi sends a message to you. He says to stop your games. That you do not want to mess with him when it concerns Shuichi. I do believe he meant it too." He turned and walked back out of the room.

"Well, that did not go as planned. I do not want to mess with you, Ryuichi? I have not even begun. You do not frighten me. I will get to Shindou-san and I will find Eiri." Turning his computer, he began to fiddle around.

Hiroshi burst in the door calling for the two vocalists. Ryuichi came out of his room, a finger on his lips. "What happened? What is wrong?" Ryuichi grabbed Hiro's arm and pulled him to the kitchen. He filled the red head in on all that had happened. "His voice is gone again? What the hell?"

"I finally got him calmed down enough to sleep. I do not think we should be far away from him right now though. I have an extra futon in my room if you want to crash in there. I think he is going to need us close." Just Ryuichi finished saying this, a strange but frightened sound came down the hall. Both men were on their feet and running for Ryuichi's room. Hiroshi beat Ryuichi to the door by a hair's breathe and rushed in to see a panicked Shuichi. They ran over to the bed and enveloped a trembling Shuichi in their arms. "Hush love. We are right here. Neither of us are going away." Shuichi mimed writing and Ryuichi got up and got a pad of paper and a pen. Shuichi wrote something then showed it to the two. All it said was 'Why?' He, then, passed out in Hiro's arms. They tucked him back under the blankets and left the room. Just as the door clicked, K burst through the front door, gun training back and forth.

"What happened? Who is threatening Shuichi?" Hiroshi face palmed while Ryuichi just stared at the ceiling.

"If you are done destroying my place, K, we will talk in the kitchen," was all that Ryu said. The three men went into the kitchen area. "Tohma set Tatsuha on Shuichi. Before you go off and take him out, K, I have already dealt with him. He will not be back without express permission. Tohma sent him an anonymous email. We will have to stay as close to Shu as possible. Tohma is going to be pissed and try harder to get to him. One other thing...Shuichi has lost his voice again. It is just like before.

A/N I am sorry it is so short and has been so long between updates. It has been a rough month for me. I hope you enjoy. I may have been a little ooc with Tat.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

' means thoughts  
" means speaking

Unknown to the three men in the other room, Shuichi was sitting up, awake. Awake and very sad, confused and lonely. There was seriously something wrong with him. There had to be, no one else was treated as he was. Hiro was the best person he knew. Hiro could have anyone, male or female. The same could be said for Ryuichi. Seguichi hated Shuichi, even though he had never done anything to him. Eiri had always treated him coldly...Eiri. The tears began to fall at the mere thought of his former lover. Despite everything that Ryuichi had told him, Shuichi still felt he was unlovable. 'How long will it take him to get bored of me? Or annoyed with me like Yuki?' Even Hiro, his best friend, had times he could not put up with his antics and mood swings. 'Maybe I should go away and leave everyone in peace.' Just then, Ryuichi flew through the door. He looked panicked. Behind him trailed K and Hiro, looking puzzled at the sudden rush to the room.

"Shu-chan, do not look like that!" It was almost as if he had heard Shuichi's thoughts. "Please, stay here with me. We do not want you to leave. We will protect you. All of us." He had felt a terrible feeling in his gut that Shuichi was disappearing on him. He could see him but the distance in his eyes told the truth. Ryuichi started to babble and cry, even further confusing K and Hiro. It was then that Hiro got a good look at Shuichi's eyes. They were completely empty. None of his sparkle and void of emotion. It was almost as if his spirit left with his voice. He had retreated into his mind. Hiro stepped over to Shuichi and tilted the pink haired man's face up.

"Where are you, Shu? Where did you go? Come back to us, please." His other hand ran through the soft hair, trying to coax the other out of his shell. Ryuichi crawled around so that he was behind his love. He embraced him with his arms and wrapped his legs around the slim waist. He began rocking and singing in a hushed voice. K stood watching the three men, knowing what was going on. The shock of everything had been building, but Tatsuha's attack had been enough to put the vocalist over the edge in to a near catatonic state. He was pissed at the Uesugi brothers but even more so at his boss. Seguchi Tohma had driven the crazy train all the way to this point. He decided then and there what was going to be the next move. The boss was not going to like it, but this was to save Shuichi.

"Ryuichi, do you still have access to that new hot springs resort? The one that you helped advertise for?" Ryu looked up at the blonde man, tears still staining his cheeks and nodded, before returning his gaze at the man in his arms. "Good! You will take Shuichi there. Hiroshi, you and I will keep things cool here. We will not let Seguchi know where they are and we will do everything in our power to keep him from finding out. Ryu, you need to bring him back to himself. His heart is well and fully broken right now. Heal him. Your brand of crazy...don't look at me like that! I like your brand of crazy and it may be the only thing to bring him back. Love him, make him love himself. The second part is the most important. Make him see that he is important, that you need him." The other two men were nodding their heads by the time K was finished speaking.

Hiro said, "I will go pack Shu's things." He began heading toward the door. Ryuichi stopped him with a whisper.

"Make sure you pack something that will make him see how beautiful he is," was all Ryuichi said, his eyes never leaving Shuichi. He began to sing again in hushed tones, while rocking the unmoving Shuichi. Every so often, he would blink and a single tear drop rolled down his face. Ryuichi caught each one with a kiss and a murmur of sweetness. K watched them for a few minutes, then left the room to make all the necessary calls and formulate a plan to deter and distract Tohma. Hiroshi entered Shuichi's room, sat down on the bed and buried his face in his hands. Even after everything that Shuichi had been through, including the rape, he had never been like this. Four years of being with Yuki, four years of uncertainty, heartbreak and love, had not even done this. He meant it when he said he would protect Shu and yet, once again, he was unable to. Tears, a combination of anger, sadness, and frustration, began to fall. With a quick punch to the bed, Hiro was up and getting Shuichi's stuff packed for the trip. He made sure to put in comforting items; including his special shampoo, the Kuma that he had been given by Ryuichi when he had left for America, and his orange hoodie. In a separate bag, he packed the brown leather pants, fishnet top and vest they had picked out together. He threw in a pair of combat platform boots, Shuichi's "good luck" Bad Luck wrist cuffs, his black collar with a skeleton key charm, and his kohl liner. By now, Hiro's tears had stopped. He quickly washed his face and carried the 2 bags out the door. K was waiting in the living room. He had packed for Ryuichi, and Ryu came down the hall slowly carrying Shu. With a mutual nod, the three of them headed out to the waiting car.

Once seated in the car, it headed for the airport. Ryuichi heard his phone go off with his text message tone. He looked at it. It was from Yuki.

How is he?

Not good. Your idiot brother was set on him by Tohma.

WHAT?

Tohma sent him an anonymous email. He came, punched Shu  
before I could stop him. Accused him of cheating on you. I  
pulled him away and set the record straight. Now Shu is  
hiding inside himself. Taking him to a hot springs to bring  
him back (hopefully)

Damn! I knew he was an asshole, but seriously?

Do not worry. We (K, Hiro, & I) will not let this happen again.  
Tohma will be getting his just desserts soon enough. He went  
too far this time.

There was no response back, and Ryuichi sighed. 'Will he leave well enough alone? I will get this solved. If Tohma finds him, then none of this will work.' Hiro had turned around in the passenger seat to look back at them. Shuichi's head was in Ryu's lap, but Ryu had a pissed off look on his face. When Ryuichi noticed, he mouthed "Yuki" and Hiro's face darkened. Ryuichi shook his head and mouthed "Later". Once at the airport, they carried Shu onto Ryuichi's private jet. He was placed gently on the bed that was onboard. The three men stepped out of the plane. "I have Shu-chan. You too just take care of Tohma. I will be calling Tohma before we take off so be prepared. He is going to be pissed." Hiro and K nodded and walked back to the car as Ryuichi re-boarded.

Sleepless Beauty rang out of Tohma's phone. "Ryuichi, how nice of you to call."

"You went too far. He and I are disappearing for a while. If you come near him, I WILL hurt you. Do not forget the night I split Nittle Grasper up the first time." Tohma's phone beeped in his ear, bringing him out of his stunned daze to realize the call was ended. He looked at the phone and threw it as hard as he could. Then he roared out his anger.

A/N A very sad chapter but necessary. Have faith in me though. I will make it turn out alright in the end.


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

Ryuichi gave a dark smirk as he closed his phone. He could almost hear his former friend's outrage. Then the smirk was gone, replaced with pure worry. He walked back to where Shuichi lay, unmoving and unblinking. He lay down next to the still man, gathered him in his arms and held him. Reaching out one hand, he picked up the phone which connected him to the cockpit. "Prepared for take-off back here." After receiving a conformation from the pilot, he hung the phone back up and wrapped his arms around Shuichi tightly, one hand stroking the pink hair. "Please, Shu. Come back to me. I need you." He began to weep.

Shuichi looked around and saw nothing but white-gray fog. He lowered a hand to where his feet were, but did not feel the ground. "Where am I?" He took a hesitant step, finding that although there was no ground, he had solid footing. He began to walk, trying to figure out where he was. He thought he heard vague voices off in the distance. He started toward them, only to have the voices change directions. After a while of this going on, he just stood in place, scratching his head. "What is going on? I hear voices but then they move, I can not see anything. Where am I? How did I get here? Am I dead?" He thought back but the last thing he could remember was a knock on the door, when he was in the kitchen. He blushed deeply when he remembered the memories preceding the last one. He and Ryu, he had always dreamed but never believed it ever possible. His mind touched on Eiri and though he saddened, he did not crumble to the unseen solidness beneath him. "Why?" He shouted the word, not know exactly what he was asking it about. There were so many things that it applied to. The word echoed and then abruptly, the fog lifted a bit ahead of him.

He walked toward it, and saw a swing set. He recognized it as the park that Hiro and he played in as children. He saw two boys that he recognized as them as children. He smiled at the sight of how carefree they were back then. No worries, no relationships, just the two of them. There was a shimmer in the air and in the blink of an eye, he saw them as early teens. Shuichi was sitting under a tree, crying, while Hiro squatted in front of him. He remembered this day clearly, although he had been about 13. It was the day he first had a real crush. He had asked the most popular girl in school to attend the formal dance with him. She laughed so hard that other girls came up to her. When informed of his request, they all laughed as well. He was so mortified, he ran out of the school before the day was even done. Hiro had found him, hours later. He had tried to comfort him, telling him that it was her loss that she did not look at what was in front of her. He told Shu he saw a rising star in his best friend. Watching this memory, Shuichi wanted to weep. Hiro had been with him forever, always being what he had needed. The fog closed in again, wrapping Shuichi in its thickness. The memory was flashing in fullness through his mind. That night, it was also the night of the final Nittle Grasper concert. Hiro had taken him to it. Watching Ryuichi on that stage, he had decided that he would follow his dreams. They had managed to get close to the stage, and he was dazzled at the sight of his God. Oh to be like him! That night, he had had dreams that were odd for him. Not that he was not used to waking from wet dreams, it was just he had never had them about a guy. Of Ryuichi no less! He had never told Hiro, not wanting to be made fun of. Coming back to himself, Shuichi blushed at the memories. He had always had a thing for Ryuichi. Even when he felt as though he was beyond the moon and stars.

He began to wander around once again. The fog lifted again, revealing the first time he saw Eiri. He blanched when he heard the words again. Even after all this time, it still felt harsh to him, those words that were said bluntly. All of a sudden, the air was a whirlwind full of his memories with Eiri. They flew around him so fast that they began to blur together. Memories of joy, of pain, everything that had transpired between them. The air felt so heavy, he felt as though he was being driven to his knees. The whirling stopped on the day that Eiri had told him the dark history he had been hiding. His body could no longer remain standing and he did crumble to the ground. He began to cry.

Ryuichi felt a tremor go through the man he was holding. He tightened his arms around him, whispering in the silent man's ear. "Shu, please wake up. Please." He felt a wetness touch his cheek and looked at Shu's face. Tears were leaking out of his eyes. What was going through his mind? There was obviously something going on in there. He kissed Shuichi gently, whispering his love to him. A jangling of the phone disrupted the quiet. He reached over and picked it up. They were landing. It was time to help Shuichi come back.

Tohma finally breathed a calming breath, as he surveyed the damage in his office. So, this was how Ryuichi wanted to play it? He could play the game too. The only problem was, Ryuichi could play just as devious a game as he himself could. Maybe Noriko might have an idea as to what could be up Ryuichi's sleeve. "Have to be careful on that front, however." Noriko, though friends with both of them, tended to be highly protective of their band mate. Her tongue could be scathing and she had a mean right hook. Having been on the bad end of both, he did not relish the idea of a repeat. He would have to make sure it did not appear as though he was hunting the vocalist. "This will take some serious thought." Jarring him from his musings, the office door slammed open suddenly, revealing a royally pissed off Mika. "Hello my dear," he said with a mild smile.

"Do not 'Hello' me, you arrogant prick! Where is Eiri? Where is Shuichi? I tried to contact both of them and both numbers have been disconnected. You have not been home in days. What is going on?"

Ahh, another one to be delicate with about the current situation. In the time that Eiri and Shuichi had been together, Mika had developed a soft spot for the little brat. All because she felt he was the best thing for Eiri. Why did everyone seem to get sucked into his world? Was it merely gravity, like Nakano believed? "That is preposterous!" Tohma mentally shouted. "Shuichi is currently with Ryuichi, whereabouts being determined at the moment and Eiri took off." As he spoke, Mika's facial expression changed, not revealing what she was thinking or feeling. Shit, she had been around him too long and figured out how to hide her thoughts from even him.

"That would explain why Tatsuha came in fuming. He came into the house, swearing up a storm, and cursing you in particular." With that, she turned and walked back out the door. She would do her own searching for the truth. Much as she loved her husband, she knew he was not exactly trustworthy. She dialed Ryuichi's phone, only to get sent directly to the message bank. She did not bother leaving a message. More than likely, where it involved Shuichi, Ryuichi was keeping things close to the vest at the moment. She dialed Suguru's number. The moment he picked up, "It is Mika. I need Nakano's number. It is important."

"Here it is, but I have not been able to contact him. He has not been in for a few days. All I know is that it has to do with Shindou-san." He rattled off the number but before he could say any more, the line was dead. He looked at the phone for a moment, then shrugged his shoulders. Maybe K could give him a clue as to what was going on. He really wanted to get back to work and knew only that Shuichi was at the center of what ever the hell was going on.

Dialing Hiroshi's number, Mika sat down at a cafe, having left NG Productions as soon as possible. He answered hesitantly. "Nakano-san, it is Mika. I need to speak with you in person please."

"Why, Seguchi-san?" The wariness was obvious in his voice, despite the polite tone. Yeah, he knew something and very clearly did not trust her at the moment.

"It is important, and no, I am not calling for Tohma. I am calling, for my own reasons. Please meet me at the cafe down the road from the studio." After a long hesitation, he agreed. He arrived about a half hour later, the suspicion evident on his face. He sat when she motioned to a chair. "Nakano-san, I know right now you do not trust me, that is quite plain. However, I need to know what is going on. I love my brother and happen to care about Shuichi. I can not get in touch with either one of them. I do not trust Tohma to tell me everything, completely honestly. All he said was that Eiri is gone and Shuichi is with Ryuichi. What is going on?"

"Why should I trust you? How do I know he did not send you?"

"An understandable question, in light of everything. Yes, I am married to Tohma, but Eiri is my brother. Blood is more important in this case. Please, if you know what is going on, tell me." The last was said with a slight catch in her voice.

"I will give you what you need to know but no more." So Hiroshi filled her in on everything up to Tatsuha showing up, excluding private stuff that he felt were none of her business. When he was done, she looked shocked.

"So, that is why I could not reach either of them. I will deal with Tats. You guys just keep Shuichi safe. Try to help him with this. I will do what I can to keep Tohma off of your backs. Maybe, with any luck, Tatsuha and I can help you sort this out. Neither of us are happy right now with Tohma. You have my word, not as a Seguchi, but as a Uesugi. Go and do what you must." He stood, gave a brief nod and walked to his bike. When he was gone, Mika dialed her youngest brother.


	21. Chapter 21

A/N: I am so sorry that I have not updated in a while. I had this chapter nearly done when my comp crashed so I had to do a rewrite. Then the spouse accidentally wiped my external on which I was saving the rewrite in progress. So here is the third attempt. I made it a bit longer to make up for the wait. Hope you all enjoy it. Once again I apologize.

Chapter 21

Once the plane landed, Ryuichi checked to make sure the car he had arranged for was waiting. He spoke with the driver for a few minutes, then headed back toward the plane. He stopped, watching the baggage personnel remove the baggage and bring it over to the car, before he pulled out his phone. He turned it on and called Hiroshi.

"Moshi, moshi"* Hiro answered after one ring.

"The short hop is done. I just wanted to let you know we landed safely. I will be unreachable until we get there."

"How is Shu? Any change at all?"

"None as of yet other than he cried."

"He cried? Is he starting to come around?" The hope in Hiro's voice was tangible.

"No, he isn't unfortunately. It was like a person crying in their sleep. Whatever is going on inside of his mind, it was enough to make him react as though very sad."

"Oh…" A moments hesitation, then Hiro spoke again. "Um, let me know when you arrive. K and I will get things rolling on our side." Another hesitation, then he continued. "We may have some, well, unexpected allies. Mika and …" his voice suddenly turned harsh. "Well, apparently, the youngest Uesugi wants to help," he spat out, unable to say the name. Just thinking of what he had been told about what had transpired between Tatsuha and Shuichi made his blood boil and his vision to burn red. A sinister growl from the ear piece brought him back to the subject at hand. "Mika-san is on our side. She has been behind Shuichi for a long time now. She will keep the **_brat_** on a short leash. If she doesn't, K or I will be happy to handle him. Trust me on that! I owe him for what he did to Shu."

"I trust **_you_**, Hiro-kun," the child-like nature of the words not matching the dark, angry voice speaking them. "I do not trust **_him_**. Her, yes. I know for a fact that she is as good a match for her husband as I am. Gotta go now. Just watch your back. My former toy can be nearly as much as a snake as his brother-in-law."

"Stay safe and protect him, please."

"I will. Bye." Ryuichi disconnected the call, turned off the phone and re-boarded the aircraft. He made his way back to the bedroom. Looking at the bed, he realized he was shaking with fury. Taking a deep, calming breath, he muttered a few lines from Sleepless Beauty. Realizing it was the part that he had calmed an angry crowd with for Shuichi, returned a bit of calmness to him. Very carefully, Ryuichi picked up the man lying on the bed. His arms wrapped around and cradled the fragile, trembling body. Nearly instantaneously, the younger man's body relaxed until he was limp. Ryu placed a soft kiss on the pinkette's forehead. "Come back and sparkle for me, my Shuichi. Kumagoro and I are waiting for you." Tilting his head as he spoke dislodged the pink bunny from it's perch atop Ryuichi's head. It landed on Shuichi's unmoving arms. Other than the periodic blink, there was no change after the relaxing. "At least, the tears have finally stopped. I wish I knew what was going on in that brain of his." Shifting Shuichi in his arms slightly, so as to not accidentally drop him, he made a mental observation. 'He seems to get lighter every time I carry him.' Out loud he said, "No drifting away on me now that I have you, Shu-chan." Ryuichi stepped out of the room, off the aircraft and strode to the loaded car. He brushed off the driver's attempt to help him with Shuichi. He climbed into the car, protecting Shuichi's head as though he were as delicate as a baby. Once they were completely situated in the back of the car, the door snapped shut and the car sped out of the private airport. The miles whizzed past unseen as they flew toward the resort. Gazing down, he saw Kumagoro still nestled on Shuichi's arms. "Kuma-chan, protect him even in his mind if you can," he whispered.

Shuichi's tears had finally stopped, despite the continued flurry of memories. Suddenly, the haze that was blurring the memories cleared, revealing one memory he wished he could forget forever. He saw **_that_** parking garage. The one from that horrible night involving Taki. As if doused in ice cold water, all the emotions he had felt that night and after swamped him He had successfully, for a long time, suppressed all the negative emotions that had filled him after that incident. Watching it all unfold again in front of his eyes, brought it all back. The shame, the feeling of being dirty, the sadness, the anger and the confusion,; they all bombarded him once again. He tried to close his eyes to block it out so that he could no longer see it. However, his eyes would not respond to his brain's commands. He was filled with utter terror as he began to cry.

Ryuichi had not taken his eyes off the younger man in his arm and immediately noticed the physical change that came over him. Shu's body had become as rigid as a board, eyes terror-filled & impossibly wide, and he was sweating profusely. Placing his hand on the other's chest, Ryuichi felt the rapid heart beat and saw the quickened breathing. A flash of Hiro's concerned face popped in his head. The he remembered what the red head had voiced as a major concern of his.

"Not much is known about what happens in the mind of a catatonic person. What happens if the memories of his rape resurface while he is trapped within the confines of his mind? I have woken him from nightmares of it in the past. It is a heart-wrenching sight. The terror and shame that fills his eyes when he is still dazed." Hiro's hand trembled as he ran it through his hair, the memories haunting him.

"What should I watch for? That way, I will know if it happens," Ryuichi asked.

"In the past, he has trembled, groaned, gone rigid and twitched violently. His body temperature went through the roof, causing him to sweat heavily. His heart beat was so rapid that it felt as though it were trying to escape his chest. Look for any or all of those signs. If it happens, it is very important that you try to calm." Ryuichi nodded in acknowledgment.

Instantly, Ryu sprang into action. Speaking softly he said, "Shu-chan, I am here. Hear my voice, please." He began to sing softly into Shu's ear, starting with Sleepless Beauty then moving on to other songs; some with names and others not. Anything to calm the other and slow his heart down. Hiro was right! Ryuichi feared that that most vital organ would simply leap right out of Shuichi's chest. He saw Kumagoro in the still stiff arms. "Kuma-chan will protect you, my love." Ryuichi, singing and whispering, kept trying to calm the panicked man. He let out a relief-filled sigh as he felt Shu's body slowly relax in his arms.

One moment, Shuichi could not tear his eyes from the horrible sight in front of him, the next it was fully blocked out by a figure. Slowly, he raised his tear-streaked face to look at the figure and he gasped. There, in front of him, was a human-sized Kumagoro! He blinked several times, his mouth agape. It was indeed Kumagoro, not a costumed Ryuichi. Kuma held out one pink paw. Grasping it, Shuichi was pulled to his feet. Kumagoro headed off into the fog, beckoning for Shuichi to follow him. Shuichi shook his head and began to follow the giant pink bunny toward the as yet unknown.

A car pulled up in front of Ryuichi's place. Seguchi climbed out of the car and looked toward the door as if it were distasteful. Pulling out the spare key he had, he walked up the steps nonchalantly. After unlocking the door, he stepped through and snapped it shut. "I'm sure he left some clue as to where he was taking that pink haired idiot." He walked from room to room, sifting through papers he found as he went. When he reached what was obviously Shuichi's room, his prided self-control and calm demeanor fled him as he snarled. Whirling around, he raced for the kitchen. Upon spotting the knife block on the counter, he grabbed a chef knife and ran back to the bedroom. His rage taking control, he slashed at the bedding, reducing it to ribbons of frayed fabric and fluff all over the floor. The pillows felt his wrath next, feathers flying everywhere. Next came Shuichi's clothes, and by the time he was done, there was nothing more than shreds left. Feeling satisfied and his temper abating, he started to go back out the door. However, he spotted a Bad Luck t-shirt that had escaped his fury. It featured Shuichi and he snatched it up. He stood, sneering at it for a moment before dropping it to the floor. He looked at the knife in his hand and imbedded it in the floor right through the shirt. He turned and strode out of the room, an evil smirk on his face.

Finally, he made his way to Ryuichi's room. Upon entering, he spotted the computer on an oak desk. Sitting down in the plush desk chair, he booted up the computer. "Password required, huh? I will get past that in short order. I know Ryuichi very well, after all." However, six attempts later, he still did not have access to the desktop. He sat back and pondered for a few minutes before an idea came to him. With an eye roll, he reached back to the keyboard, typed in "ShunRyu4ever" and pressed enter. It logged on, the desktop background a picture of Kumagoro. Once he got online, he checked the recent history and hit jackpot. He found a transaction receipt for two first-class tickets to California, USA. "Gotcha!" A confident smile on his face, he shut down the computer. He strode out of the room, down the hall and walked out the front door. His phone was at his ear as he relocked the door. As he made his way to his car, he confirmed that his private jet would be ready to go in three hours. Not once did he notice that he was being watched.

After the car pulled away and was out of sight, Tatsuha pulled out his phone. He deliberated calling Hiroshi directly and shuddered. More than likely, the fiery red head would hunting him down to take his head for punching Shuichi. In his anger at the time, he had forgotten just how protective Hiroshi was of Shuichi. After all, the red head had stood toe to toe with Eiri and not backed down. Shaking his head to get the scene with Shuichi out of his mind. He still could not believe that he had been used so easily by his brother-in-law in this whole fiasco. The scene in Ryu's place was burned into his memory, so that every time he closed his eyes, he saw the faces of the two singers. He cursed, knowing he had been in the wrong. Even when he had gotten into the relationship with Ryu, he knew that Shuichi was preferred. He had hoped to change that, to his chagrin. Despite the fact of Ryu's preference for Shu, Tatsuha still cared about both singers. It was impossible not to care about Shuichi, his similarities to Ryuichi aside. Shuichi had done so much to help Eiri overcome his past, after all. If what Ryu had said was true, and it did match up to what his sister had told him, then he had compounded the damage already wrought by his brother. Coming to a decision, he opted to call Mika, knowing she would inform Hiro and K. "He took the bait. His plane leaves in three hours. The plan is in action. He was in there a long time, though. Someone might want to go in to see if there is any damage before they come back." With that he disconnected the call and started his motorcycle. He had no right to enter the premises after all he had done that day.

In the car, Ryuichi looked at his watch. Despite the flight, they still had a two hour drive ahead of them. Brushing a kiss across the pinkette's forehead, Ryu settled into a more comfortable position so he could take a small nap. He wrapped Shu's now limp arms tightly around Kumagoro before doing the same with his own arms around Shuichi. "Stand guard, Kuma-chan." Resting his chin on Shuichi's head, closed his eyes, softly humming.

Shuichi could just barely see the giant Kuma through the hazy mist. He stumbled but a pink paw grasped his shoulder, keeping him from going down. "Thank you Kuma-chan," he said with a small smile. Thinking to himself, "I must be crazy to follow a giant pink bunny but if life is going to hell in a hand basket anyway, I might as well enjoy it in the process." The bunny smiled back for a brief minute before extending the other arm that was not holding up Shuichi. Shu's gaze followed it toward where the fog was dissipating. He started to tremble as he realized it was the night he and Hiro had opened for ASK. Instead of the memory of seeing Yuki or Ryuichi singing with him on stage coming to mind, the night triggered by this event flashed back to him. Kuma pulled him closer, then pointed to his own eyes and floppy ears before pointing back at the scene in front of them. Shu watched as he tried to convince the crowd to listen to them, to give them a chance. He vaguely heard K speak and Seguchi respond. He then heard what was clearly Ryuichi but it was of a different tone, almost like it wasn't spoken aloud.

"Like me, huh? Well he certainly has the enthusiasm down, but can he sing? Young and kinda cute. Hmmm, could be entertaining at the very least." Shuichi turned and looked at Kuma but the bunny only pointed at the scene once again. Shu turned back and saw himself frozen on stage. He heard Ryu's voice or was it his thoughts? He was not sure. "They are going to eat him alive. How will I know how he sounds if they don't let him sing? I have to know. The kid is scared." The angle of the scene seemed to change. They were moving through the crowd as Ryu's singing voice suddenly rang out. He was singing part of Sleepless Beauty as he climbed on the stage and faced the crowd. Ryu turned his head to look at Shu on stage. "He looks more intimidated now. I'd say he is a major fan. He he, that look is almost too cute. I still need to hear him sing, though." Shuichi watched as Ryu saved his butt and encouraged him. The song started and Ryuichi moved off to the side of the stage to watch and listen. The angle changed again. He saw himself and then he saw ASK off to side, Taki glaring. "I really do not like that one in the black shirt. Something is off with him. Maybe just jealousy, after all the pink haired kid is good. I wonder how we would sound together?" Ryuichi joined in singing with Shuichi. The fog closed in for a moment then cleared. Ryu was headed toward a car. "Man, that was fun. Kid has talent for sure. Got my juices flowing, almost like when Nittle Grasper was together. I think I will stick around and see if he has the potential I think he has. K was right in that he is somewhat like me. I definitely want to sing with him again. He is…so alive!"

The fog closed in again and Shu raised his head, questions in his eyes. The pink bunny merely shook his head and started walking again. Shuichi looked at Kumagoro walking away. "Am I seeing Ryuichi's memories?" Shuichi caught up with the bunny asking the question out loud. Kuma nodded and kept walking. After an indeterminable time, they stopped. "Is there more I need to see?" Again the bunny nodded before continuing on.

* a greeting


End file.
